i'm being myself.so don't hate me for that.

cookie jar

2008-10-09T14:34:00.002+08:00

hello earthlings. I haven't been blogging since .... I don't know how many days back. I.AM.SO.FUGGING.HAGGARD.AND.TIRED.AND.SLEEPY. I think I'm gonna crash tmr after school, go home and sleep my fugging biggie big ass out making it bigger until maybe Saturday afternoon ? Hoho So I woke up at 2 p.m today, received some messages, sorry if I replied late, I was sleepingzxzx. My eyebags are goddamn it frigging horrible Phyl said I can put baby kangaroos inside them already -.-" TVRP was A-OKAY :D Advertising next *Bangs head on table repeatedly* I don't fugging know what the hell I am supposed to study because studying the whole book is just so frigging impossible, seriously. I'm craving for guuaavvvvvaaaaaaaas. OH! yay mom's cutting watermelons ! heeheehuhuhu yum !

Lotta things been happening lately. Issues after issues, matters after matters, problems after problems, yet no solution -.- Went to town after school yesterday after a few hours of chilling at PS Starbucks with the rest. Went to eat Ayam Penyet at Lucky Plaza in which we met some bloody retards with PERCH faces -.-" so yes, we walked around and saw some good bargains. HEEHEEE so def I'm grabbing some stuff I;ve already had in mind after sch on Friday. Okay which means plan ruined, won't be going home straight after school to sleep -.- eh I'm feeling damn tired lah, I feel like crashing NOW ! -.-"

Tash's open house on Sunday, going w Nazzozi. Idk why the hell must he be paiseh -.-" Meeting him on Saturday for a little bit of shopping. and I owe him ice-cream for his so does not make any sense riddle -.-" hmm, so yala. i'm still frigging tired -.-

You left me hanging loose, with big question marks above my head.

And now you came back, saying sorry.

Giving me more question marks.

I don't know what your motives are, after all the things you've done.

Maybe you regretted, but I doubt that's your move.

Maybe you didn't even regret it, you're just saying sorry for the fun of it.

I won't accept your apology, neither will I even ask for an explaination.

You won't listen to mine and you judged me through their perceptions and stories.

So neither will I listen to yours, or even bother asking.

I remembered

We made promises to break all ties with each other.

But I was surprised you still keep my number.

And even have the cheek to text and say sorry.

What made you think that I'll accept your apology ?

What made you think that your sorry can soften me up ?

I don't give in easily you know, I've been thru all these shits a dozen times.

So get your thinking right, if you think you can easily play me around just by another sorry,

Then you better get in your right frame of mind.

I don't understand

Why now ?
When everything is going fine in my life,

You came back trying to ruin everything for me again.

Come on, I have people who loves me and people whom care for me

So listen properly, I DO NOT F.ING NEED YOU.

I'm not desperate, like all other girls you've known.

I have my own moralty and dignity

You toyed around with it, don't expect me to accept you ever again back in my life with a sorry

I'm worth more than that sorry of yours.

Get lost.

2008-10-05T15:54:00.003+08:00

PR is def. driving me nuts, and all other exams on wed and fri. pure shitznitx. i cant wait for it to be over so I can start on my GP ASAP. so yes, following mom to IKEA later ^^v heeeheeeee yeayea ikea-ing :)

and yes, my brain cells are drained and I bet its wrinkled now and looks like dried chilli -.- plus, nazzozi's riddle that so does not make sense is driving me a bit nuts. HAHA seriously man naz, i wrote it down and tried to figure it out, BUT IT MAKE NO SENSE AT ALL ! WHERE DID THE 10 CENTS GO ?! you cheatterrr consperm got cheat code -.- nvm, I still won't give up because I have to blanja you ice cream if I cant figure it out, but nvm lah. Ice cream only, HAHAHA CHEG -.-

so yesyes, shopping w nazzozi is postponed to this coming saturday. AND F. THIS PAY BETTER COME IN THIS FRIDAY OR ELSE THE WHOLE OF SUNTEC WILL TURN UPSIDE DOWN -.- knn big time. so yes, yesterday night was a v.depressive night. I don't know why either -.- I just feel so suffocated.

OK F. LAH KNN IM SO F. PISSED F.KNN G&D

damn it.

2008-10-03T14:20:00.002+08:00

hello little people, am so damn fustrated right now. am gg for work later, starts at 5 end al 11. they better not make me stay till 2 for OT or else the whole Suntec will turn upside down. DAMN IT. I have no idea either why the hell am I getting so worked up. Maybe because my ppd's low & I can't reply to some people -.- What a reason, I know. BUT STILL. !!! . and maybe because I have work tmr also, from 5-11, again -.-

actually, am going out with Nazzozi tmr. planned to do a little shopping and ikea-ing. but then my pay's coming in next week. OH I REMEMBERED WHY I'M SO F. UP BIG TIME, BECAUSE MY PAY WILL COME IN NEXT FRIDAY. SHITZNITX BIG TIME MAN. KXJGLAJFRTNR !!! oh my goooodddd this is the worst day of my life. okay actually not the worst day of my life -.- BUT STILL, damn it big time aakkeeehhh ?? bull. i was just being all so excited abt gg to ikea, again, because i want/need to get some stuff over there for my oh-so-boring room now. talking about my room, i need someone who can draw my wall for me. just a wall, not all four walls. so anyone interested please do tell me.

raya was nothing, well for some people of course ah fun. but well, most of my aunts are overseas, some at new jersey and stuff. so yeah, didn't do raya-ing THAT much. PLUS, I'm having exams so Mom's kindda not allowing me to raya along, AGAIN like last year -.- so yes, first day of raya, ate like a pig. eat sleep eat sleep -.- i just can't resist gran's cooking my ohhh myyy yum yum, whatever. gees, i don't feel like gg to work now. my god. plus, i am gg home alone, again because the rest are having OT i think. so yes, life's pretty much dull on both sides *megasigh*

next movie to watch, house bunny. hohoho the trailer looks kinnda funny hahha. oh && stg caught my eye on the tv yesterday, "rock and rolllaa" weeehuuuu -.- there's so many stuff i wanna watch. hehehe and idc, i better go find a movie marathon partner soon.

hell yeah the weather is goddamn it hot today, but the clouds are pretty, so fair enough. BUT STILL, i hate sweating -.- seriously, i don't feel like going to work. idk how many times i've repeated this already but really. they made me work like a mad dog all day forcing me to stay for OT even tho I screamed I do not want to, and now the pay's coming in next week, ? KNNBCCB BIG TIME IM ALREADY IN DESPERATE NEED OF MONEY, BULLS.

damn it, somebody, calm me down.

love/lights

2008-09-30T23:45:00.004+08:00

Hello babies, firstly SELAMAT HARI RAYA to all muslims people and sorry to those whom I've hurted be it on purpose or not, sorry for the vulgarities I spouted 24/7.So yes, I just got home. From Ikea, accompanied mom to get some last minute stuff and we waited 2 bloody goddamn hours for the f. taxi and we got none, so mom called abang noh to pick us up. Thank god there's him. Bought this extremely cute heeled shoes for Raya :) Teeheee :D I can't believe I'm like, actually falling in love with a high-heeled shoe, I think this is the first time I didn't go against wearing it ? because it's so cuuutteeee :D Oh god, I still got Journalism to study *bangs head on the table*

Listening to Radiohead, damn orgasmic. Oh my, gives me the shiverrr. He is way beyond amazing. and the show by coldplay, live in toronto - fix you is way beyond awesome, i swear over my sexy ass :D Hohoho tomorrow raya sial, idk if i should be excited or happy or bored or sad or what -.-

Met Nazzozi again yesterday, to return his black book. & as usual, I was late -.- (To Naz: I told you my drawing was crap -.-) So yes, we catched Mamamia yesterday, at 4.15 which ended just in time to find seats at banquet for break fast. I realized something, we're ALWAYS and forever craving for something but we end up not finishing the food -.- It's either 1/3 or 2/3 finished, wasted sialz -.- So yes, the temptation to sing along the songs in Mamamia was higher than mount everest but still, I kept myself shut or else it would be damn embarassing. HAHAHA We fell in love with all the songs and Naz is so semangat he downloaded the songs and sent me, thank you naz :D not wrong to be so semangat lah kan. So yes, walked to central and around j.w for nothing. find his root beer and i swear there were alot of banglas, naz's best friend teeehheee ^^v and I'm not tired ouuhggaaayy boy, you're the one who's tired ^^v so yes, sat somewhere around 700+ and talked, walked off around 9.30. thank you naz for walking back all the way to jp with me, because i insisted not to take the bus :) i feel sorry and guilty because i made you walk w the 2 heavy bottles. sorrry big time okeh ? :)

so that's pretty much all, and it's raya ! g.day everybody :)

life used to be in black and white

watching everything pass by

wasting every minute accomplishing nothing

wondering what was the purpose of your existence

waiting for a miracle to happen

waiting for hope to make its entrance

hope didn't appear, as expected

but something else did

bringing back colours into your life

making you realize that you exist for a purpose, a positive one

he brought back everything into life, unexpectedly

but

should you instill the trust, or shall you not ?

for fear that history will repeat itself

making yourself look like a dumb-o being fooled, yet again

it takes courage

it takes time

to go through this one more time

but

whenever he's around

the atmosphere changes

you feel safe, you feel everything's under control

you just feel right.

rays of hope

2008-09-28T17:04:00.002+08:00

hey yo darlings, ah gess i got only a couple of minutes to blog before going off to grans, yet again -.- breaking fast there. okay so yes, i'm going nuts studying for journalism because most of the topics that old man told us to concentrate on isn't in the book like the hour glass format and the diff between featured news story and don't know what else story -.- but lucky i borrowed this book from school library and it has most of the topics that old faggot is talking about, sorry padman but seriously, you're driving me and the whole class up and down and around the whole 4 walls. shiiiit i don't feel like gg to grans, because im running outta time to study. AND AND YES BABY, LYKKE LI'S SONGS ARE DAAAMN ORRGGAAASSSMMMIIIIICCC ^^v

okay so anyway, met nazzozi ytd. we tapau-ed food and cabbed to mount faber. both of us end up w the same food, mee goreng -.- i was craving for indian food yesterday i don't know whyy, and i wanted to buy the rojak but in the end didn't, but nevermind. and so, we ended up with 2 drinks. no actually he had 2. but lucky my drinks turned out nice, unlike yours naz HAHAHA ok im so bad, but wtv :D THE PROTION OF THE MEE GORENG IS A LOOOTTTTTTTTTT so both of us ended up not finishing the thing. but right, mee goreng w/o taugey is weird, way beyond weird HEEHEE ^^v
his macdonald's caramel iced latte turned out like daaamn bitter, prangai damn harbourfront ouhgaayy HAHA

so yes, the sunset was waayyy beeyyoonnddd fantabulous i was v.happy w the scenery. because it's damn peaceful, and pure and serene. really, once in a while you gotta take a break from all these human traffic congestion ya know. aah happy evening happy evening, made me appreciate god's creation even more. wonderful ya know ^^v so yes, we shifted place after the sunset because the mosquitoes were killing me. naz said because i didnt drink milk -.- is that true ? i dont know, must go do some research. teeeheee :) oh oh, and while watching the sunset and talking abt some stuff i cant rmbr what, there was this phtographer who took a picture of us, should have asked for her email and demand (CHEG, DEMAND SIA HAHA) the photos from her. but whatever. I HATE THE LIZARDDSSSS AND MOST OF THEM ARE BLACCCKK, purely utterly revolting. *pukes*

so yes, we tracked down the rail. it was damn scary i swear f. big time i didnt dare tracked but in the end i agreed because there were 2 other trackers in front of us. they must be damn familiar w the route mangx. but shitznitx man, it's UTTER DARKNESS and the trees were surrounding us, but still, we made it out alive ^^v we headed to vivo for ice-cream, because naz was craving for ice cream badly, haha, went to sit by the "sea" at lvl.1, at kachang like some mat banglas. i didnt know you can get full by eating kacang, but he does.

oh & thanks naz for the saturday company, i had a great day really and it doesnt matter if you talk to much HEEHEE ^^v

P.S: NAZZOZI, IM DONE W YOUR BLACK BOOK. the drawing's utter nonsense ah, but..(NO BUTS! HAHA) whatever.

things got worst

aside from the problems you're facing

humans added on to them

giving you alot to think about

you feel like giving up

hope vanished, world starts crumbling

everything happening in less than a millisecond

you feel like drowning

you feel like asking mother earth you eat you up

right there and then

no light to guide you, no direction for you to start venturing

2008-09-26T23:45:00.002+08:00

BEK BEK BEK work is driving me and my foot soles way beyond nuts ! ok, idk whtf the "bek bek bek" at the starting of the paragraph was for. HAHAHA SOUNDS FUNNY LIKE F. HAHAHA ok stop, damn lame -.- Lucky there's not work tomorrow, wooheeee :) and I DIE DIE thought today is Thrusday. I dont know why lah, tsk. My mind's been off track these couple-a days. For the past 2 days, I only got 2 hours of sleep -.- BAIK OR WHAT AH, and soon my eyebags can be folded into 3 just like those ah-mahs and ah-peks eyebags -.- i can't stop biting my nails, disgusting i know, but whatever sial. YAY YAY MONEY NEXT WEEK HEEHEE :D eh but knn manx, they made me run up and down and the whole of Suntec more than 60 times i swear just for small little things. AND NOW MY LEG AND FOOT GODDAMN IT PAINFUL LAH I SWEAR BIG TIME. and the racers were making a hell lot of noise during their tryouts just now. I was suppose to finish work at 4 but they dragged me for OT till 7. DAMN KNN BIG TIME. sorry ah fad, if you have to listen to wtc i rant just now :D so yes, i went home alone like one knn pathetic loser because the rest wanted to watch the tryouts -.- AH SHIT MY NAIL IS PEELING OFF ZOMGX AND OMG ITS MIDNIGHT ALREADY SO FAST AH ?! KK BYEBYE

P.S: i'm bored tmr, saturday, anyone out ?

vanish

2008-09-24T14:56:00.002+08:00

It was the moment I've waited for in life

Where hope appeared bringing miracles for a change

Just as I was about to lift off the weight of the world

that I was carrying throughout my life

The light fades away, vanished slowly

Leaving me behind, back to square one.

relief

2008-09-24T12:11:00.002+08:00

Ya know, I'm dead bored sitting at home, studying my way thru until my ass bleeds on the chair -.- This is the worst week of my life. And I WANT exams to be over AS SOON AS POSSIBLE man. I can't take this any second longer ! This is mental torture ! OMG *bangs head on the table*

Lucky I'm soooo done with PR, I'm 1/3 thru Advertising and TVRP and I haven't even touch on Journalism when it's the first paper, which falls on teh second day of Hari Raya -.- Yea, pretty much fun ah. BIG TIME KNN MAN.

Work tomorrow from 10 - 5. Well at least there's work to keep my time occupied besides studying. I feel like going to the library, but dang, I am so f. lazy to do, seriously. I don't feel like going out at all. But at the same time, I'm bored w staying at home. DAMN WTF RIGHT. Hahs, meeting Effa later to break fast at JP, I AM SOOOO CRAVING FOR THE TOM YUM MAAANNN and accompany Namie cut her hair, for Raya i suppose.

FAUZI, YOU STILL OWE ME BUBBLE TEA AAAHH. He said he wants to blanja me bubble tea for no reason. Heeeee :) And since he can't find any C2 for raya, we plan to wear green together this raya outing. And yesterday night he threatened me because I made fun of his new pimple, he say he won't raya together w me because he abang2 already, because he's tall and I'm so short still like small kid :( HAHAHA HE BIG TIME KNN MAN THAT PIMPLE BOY HAHAHA Don't raya, then don't raya ah. I also don't care.

Anyways, I'm missing some people TERRIBLY. Plus, I didn't online yesterday so I didn't get to talk to some people much :( FUGG MAN On Monday I slept at 3 a.m to finish up the notes so I slept all the way till the next day, just in time to break fast. Pau calls me babi -.- KNN I don't knw why I'm so fugging tired man, seriously. I tried waking up but I can't. My eyes just kept closing back and I didn't even hear ANY SOUND even when the house is goddamn fugging noisy when sisters came back home from school until my mom told my sister: "KAU GI KEJOT KAKAK KAU TU, TGK DIE MAMPOS TAK" -.- big wtf marnx. HAHAHA

sunset tomorrow, you gave me hope

2008-09-20T14:41:00.005+08:00

Mood: Stoned

NOO MOORREEE SSCCHHHOOOOOLLLL. 2 weeks of study break then it's exam time and then it's GP and then it's over. SO FAST RIGHT ?! knn. wah lao, planning to work this 2 weeks. cannot man stay at home do house chores fetch sisters, can die big time :D but still, life w/o sch is boring. i miss some people, by term 2, true colours shown and you knw who your real friends are and who are the fun people to hang out with. getting the opportunity to work with different is great, it's def a great opportunity and i appreciate it. despite the hardships and the problems we went thru, we still got an 'A' for our assignments, thank god and thanks to each of everyone i've worked with for the effort. Medan trip cancelled and they're planning to go to KL instead :( cannot see handsome Indo boys already :(( HAHAHA

I miss school you knw. I miss the people, really I do. The times where I will just sit in front of the wardrobe for hours and be late for school because of that and I'll end up with slacks and tee and slippers, oh my. no more of that :( bitching session and qai giving stupid comments when wallace presents, no more.gaaaaaaaaaaaaahh idk, it seems too fast you knw. like, i'm only 17 and i've completed my dip. gees, idk if that's suppose to be good or bad.i told mom about everything going on too fast, and she said:

"somehow i can sense it, cz i can see that you're feeling that everything is too fast. you're only 17 and you wanna have fun like the rest of the kids."

I just shut up and make myself tea and went in my room to dwell on certain things. i miss having fai listening to whatever i have to rant about life, he is like a backbone to all of us. oh my, and i miss having irsyad as my arguing partner and calling me camster :(( i still rmbr we fought w each other because the both of us wanted to use camera 1 -.- like small kids i know whatever. aaahh when i hugged syad and fai ytd i didnt feel like letting go :( not all of use are gonna continue to advanced dip. so yeah, GAAAAHHHHHHHH WHY MUST EVERYTHING MOVE SO FAST ?!

Meeting Dannnyyyy later for dinner and chilling session :D Aanis texted me, asked me to chill later, sorry dude, maybe next time. I've got something on :D Danny has been a bugger since the first day I met him lah, he kept on irritating me just because I love veggies and I don't like meat that much, like he does -.- knn. I SWEAR i will beat the shit outta him if he irritates me later on. Maybe meeting Effa later IF we're heading to marina. we still don't know the plans yet. HAHA

Met Rizal yesterday. Travelled all the way to Punggol and I didn't even get a seat ! HOW HORRIBLE IS THAT ?! okay Rizal, you won. Punggol's sunset is waaaaayyyy waaaaayyyyy amazing than the other's I've seen. The skies are like, idk man. It's undescribable. It's damn beautiful, way beyond beautiful that is. Then we head to Bugis to eat at Tongseng's and saw some people I didn't want to. We headed to Cityhall to get Fried Mars Bars, YUMYUM (but damn fattening), and chilled there. So yes, he is weird, in a good way. 0.0? and we clicked well, which is a good thing. I got home and received a text message from him:

"Haha stoned out girl who looks like she doesnt give a shit bout the world thats my first impression of you" -.- so I asked him if that's suppose to be good or bad. and he said WAAYY BEYOND GOOD. apparently the line "way beyond" is his fav line, somehow I can sense that.

R:" ......... you know sometimes its weird how i manage to like click w someone whom i just met"

we had some majjoorrr music exhange session, but it was worth it. and the 6 hours of nonstop texting, like we've known each other for long, "was worth it" (R). yes, all the text messaging was worth it, like the view.

anyway, i am so hunggrreeehhhhhhh and i cant wait to meet meatboy later on.

CHIAOS PEOPLE

HAVE A NICE WEEK AHEAD

R's:

- we're not original, we're just the combined effort of every single soul we've met

- it's only after that we've lost everything, we're free to do anything

A's:

- so come on now do not fret, for life is full of little surprises that will guide you thru your journey

- if we want everything to remain as it is, it will be necessary for everything to change

hope ?

2008-09-14T21:47:00.002+08:00

is there still any hope left ?

or maybe, i should just give up.

i really don't know.

numb; stay

2008-09-14T14:23:00.005+08:00

Mood: Lazy/Pure/Content

Plusshh. Sabrina's over here at my house. She slept over yesterday. She is sooooooo adorable, I swear. Her sisters are v. pretty too :) & she's so cute ! She got this like difficulty in speech, mainly because she is a 4 year old little girl. She calls me " TATAK" not KAKAK. HAHAHA. Mom brought her over here yesterday, poor thing. Her dad made me hate man even more. & I'm having doubts about being in a relationship. Pffft. Anyway, off to grans later. Just for fun, to waste time. Plus, mom didn't cook, because everybody else is fasting. So I'm left all alone, feeling damn hungry -.- So yes, following Effa to JP later. Idk what she wanna get, but whatever.

Went to Bugis yesterday. Walked and walked and walked like some idiot for hours on Friday but I couldn't find anything. So I walked and walked and walked and bumped into Effa and Namie, so decided to join them. FINALLY got stg decent. Bought a grey top, v. nice and v. worth it. Even tho it costs ten bucks only. HAHA but it's nice lah, so whatever. Monday I'm heading over to GV to ask for work. Yes, tho the timings are odd, i don't give a shit anymore because school timing sucks too. So yes, hehehe working at odd hours, I got some plans *grins* hehehehe. I think I want to get the one at Marina, hoho. Or is it they post you somewhere ? Okay screw it people, my english is damn bad makes me sound like that SIANZ BOY -.- knn shitznitx.

I cannot be bothered anymore with whatever, seriously. The more I think about it, the more depressed I will be and I'll drive myself nuts. So bloody shit whatever okay.

Was around town on Friday and texted Jedi and asked if he wants to hang around after he finished work. But too bad his phone line is being cut off so he can't contact me in anyway -.- so I went home and reached around 11.30, checked friendster and got a comment from him, saying he's sorry, he wanted to but can't contact me -.- it's okay lah, really. some other time. hehehehe i just hope it doesn't rain badly this week. or if it wanna rain, let it rain but not on the day i'm gg to punggol. Pau said it's a waste of money because the trip there will cost 2 bucks plus. So? 2 bucks plus only what. then he said: "CHEGG. for the sake of handsome boy ah. kalau aku ajak consperm tknk. HAHA CHEG". LOL wtf. no, if you ask me consperm i'll go bowdowx.

I really thank god for having a friend like him, seriously. He makes me laugh my ass of every night w/o fail and my listening ear (even tho sometimes his advice really have no link at all -.-). and the things we laugh about is either about him or about me. or about _ _ _ _; fauzii got stalkkeerrrr HAHAHA :D ok kidding pau.

so yes, im off to cook myself maggie then im off to grans. DAMN I'M SOOOO LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS WEEEEEK (or rather, the short little trip to Punggol) :D

okay have a nice week ahead people !

love until we bleed

2008-09-12T15:30:00.001+08:00

Until We Bleed - Kleerup feat Lykke Li

2008-09-12T12:55:00.003+08:00

Listening to: Still Fly - The Devil Wears Prada

Mood: Pissed/F.Up/F.Irritated

shitznitx. i'm not in a good mood these few days. I don't f.know why either. yes i feel like sitting at some quiet place and just stone for hours and hours w some good music -.-" am at gran's house now. she's alone because aunts and bibik went to the hospital to take care of grandad. yes, when i arrived she was cleaning the bird's cage so i decided to help her. she looked so cute trying to put the apples inside the cage, LOL. Anyway, one of the birds died. Yes, grandma said she wanted to clean the birds and then she found one of them just lied in the cage, frozen. Anyway, meeting Effa later to eat at Tong Seng's (tho I'm not fasting, hoho). I'm so bored. And I need money badly, but unfortunately life's being unfair. It has always been unfair, but whatever. So I'm searching for a job as well later. Anyway, if any of you blog readers have job lobang please tell me, asap. Thank you.

Charlie, I OFFICIALLY HATE YOU. because you are the most irritating person I've ever met in this world. and you are so bloody damn oblivious everytime i talk to you, you make me feel like killing you, seriously. everybody feels like that when they talk to you. & please, your ego. cut it down dude. mine can be as high as yours, so stop defending yourself and twisting and turning the whole story and accusing people even if there is no link. you make me want to call you a bitch you know -.- and oh, do you know you can be sued for taking photos of people w/o their consent and posting it in your blog ? so STOP blogging about me and begging me to unblock you from your real life. fat hope, i will not do so -.-

i don't know why i'm feeling so evil today

do not ask me why either

maybe it's the aftermath of listening to too much hxc

-.-

internet connection at home is being a total bitch i feel like smacking the whole pc set -.- i talked to mom about the medan trip and she allowed. but i have to wait for dad to come back home from serawak, which is 2 weeks later then i can get the flight ticket. have to ask tash when they're getting the ticket. gees, idk if i really should go, but they asked me a couple of times about it, so yeah.

am going out with R next week. he told me i should visit punggol some day because there's this extremely nice place where the clouds are like fairytales and this big field of green green grass and the sunset is damn beautiful. so he asked me when I'm free so I told him next week. I'm damn occupied this week with family outing tmr, can't afford to escape this time round for i have escaped family outings with cousin a thousand times -.- yes, i can't wait to go to punggol, mainly because I want to see how pretty it is. yes, R commented I looked pure -.- so i said "because i am pure, ?" ok what kind of shit reply is that ? f. shitznitx

i really don't know

sometimes i myself am confused

and i'm sick and tired of going thru the whole process again

with fear that history will repeat itself

and make myself look so dumb

help.

chatted with dearest XY ytd and f. i miss talking to her, all the crap talk and reminiscing the moments in sec school. HAHA XY and her ah lien days. damn it la, XY I MISS YOU A LOT. oh geee, zu and jane's been busy w work. and everybody else is so busy w their own thing we can't even meet up. the only people that has been chatting constantly with me on MSN is hanis jazil, my dear friend who bullshits w me and discriminate some people w me, mamat pauzee (fauzi), my dear friend who bullshits along w me as well and my listening ear, khai, we can go on and on talking about _ _ _ _ AHAHAHA ! :D and some other people. hooooyaaahh oiii. i miss them maannn. too bad i can't really bull-crap in my current school, just am not comfortable w some people and the atmosphere is just so goddamn bloody weird. oh my. meeting HJ and XY next week for dinner :D yoohhaaaa :D hehe then can crap like some f. idiots, LOL.

someone irritated the hell outta me. and idk man, everything he does or says just irritate me outta my wits ! maybe he's trying to be nice after all that he has done to me for the past 3,4 years ? but whatever it is, i've had enough of it and i don't want myself to be fooled or make myself look so dumb to believe him. damn it la, at some point of time, my hatred for guys/men is just like the volcano erupting, and at some other point of time, i can't help but meet some new boys. well life is contradicting most of the times. and i can't be bothered saying sorry anymore, pfft. -.- don't think by saying a bunch of "sorry's" will make my heart melt and soften me up. and don't think the sweet talks will work. i am sooooo over and done with those stuff.

maybe there's still hope

well at least best friends say there is

i just hope there is still hope left

i shouldn't give up

i won't.

have a good weekend ahead people :D

content :D

2008-09-07T15:41:00.003+08:00

hey yo. it's a sunday and i'm at home, well sunday's family day isn't it ? but whatever oh my. went to the library to settle some fines just now and borrowed a book. i don't know but i'm loving books by asian authors now. su-perb ! anyway, i'm so bored, i don't feel like going online. because there's no purpose for going online anyway. school on monday, tvrp's date due bleargh -.-

went out yesterday :D met jedi. i was suppose to meet him at 6 because he ended work at 6 but i was uhm..uh, 45 minutes late ? heeees :D but he was at the shop all the way and waited till i arrive. so yes, we went to eat at forum, for some reason i'm lazy to type it out here.and while we walked from far east plaza to forum, it was already time to break fast. and he kept asking: "is it time to break fast already?" or "can i smoke now?" hahahs -.- and then i suggested we go to marina because i wanted to go to MUJI to buy some stuff. i got the plastic cover and some notebook for some stuff. and he said this: "the shop looks cheap, but the stuff aren't as cheap as i thought, haahs" -.- duh. yes and then we checked out some shops. while we're on our way to the toilet, we passed zara and bumped into fahmi,wawan and yazid. zomgxxxx such a small world. and yada4 he knows them i know them and whatever. and i got to know some stuff that i do not regarding them. haahs but whatever. so we decided to go to raffles just to sit and talk, chill around. but when we got outside, it was raining ! damn, no wonder it was so cold ! while we were walking towards the exit, goddamn it bumped into nashran. f*****. he pretended all so cool like he's som psycho loud mouth popular ass guy. happens jedi also hates him but he doesnt know it. so yes, exchanged some stories. and there were some things i learnt about him :) and so yes, we kutoks the mats and minahs and the wannabes. HAHA omg. yes so we talked and talked and he randomly commented: " you know i have fetish for girls who wear dresses. like idk, i'm obsessed over it.you know, like what you're wearing, it's nice. i used to buy my ex a lot of dresses". sounds a bit like a stalker, but ahahahah ! whatever old man. haha and he kept calling me little ggiiirrrrllllll -.- he eats alot, he was telling me that everytime he eats rice, like for example nasi goreng, he will order 2 plates of it and side dish and 2 drinks -.- AND HE STILL CAN BE SO GODDAMN IT SKINNY wah lao eh. but he dont like it and he wants to be fat -.- or build up -.- whatever. his piercings intrigued the hell outta me marn, like thos big holes at both his ears.one at the nose bridge, one at the eyebrow, two at the cheeks one on each making it look like dimples and one at the lips and his nipples -.- like what the hellzxzx but cool man, hahaha ! he wants to do tattoo but he said too bad islam don't allow because he thinks of the outcome and like what will happen whatever. and he's damn funny boy :D

AH I AM SO BORED OUT OF MY ~~TITS~~ WITS MARN

drop

2008-08-31T13:34:00.002+08:00

i should have known you are like that. who knows you bitched about me to him just as how i bitched about him to you and you had so much fun laughing and bitching along with me to. Pfft, you can put up the show of hating him in front of me, but hey bitch, everybody knows the real you by now. and hell, i'm not angry at you for bitching about me behind my back to the person whom we both hate, but i just feel like blogging the whole thing out. hey ho, look whom you're dating now! and PLEASE for pete's sake STOP the whole pretence of not wanting to go on and raise his hopes because you're not into him, but f. YOU ARE ASKING FOR IT, bitch. and that's why you're raising his hopes. because you were acting all so f. flirtatious and bitchy, that's why he thought you were into him. and STOP rattling about how he is a good boy and you ought to stop raising his hopes and you feel bad about it. hey come on, wake up is that the worst you can go in ditching a guy ? pfft, stop okay, just STOP for once. and hey hey i thought you were soooo not into him last time when you liked MK? and when you got to know that MK doesn't like you, you went back to the guy you're dating now, MR. and it is SSSSOOOOOO darn obvious that you went back to MR because you didn't get the attention you craved from MK and MR gives you all the attention. whatever, fugly. and PLEASE, STOP bragging about yourself and your family. you're not pretty you know, and everybody knows that. Like what T said: "what's new?" hahaha! and it's sad how some people can do better, but they just underestimate themselves and get the wrong ones? yes MR, alot of people said you can definitely do better than choosing her, for pete's sake ! go and refelct on yourself in the mirror man ! you can def do better than her. *rolls eyes* even T & S agrees w me. Because 1) she's a big f. up asshole. 2) she brags and brags about herself as if she is so pretttyy. hey please a lot of people in the class is better looking and better at heart than her, and here is where T will say: "what's new? what's new?" 3) she thinks her fam is sooooo united than others, when she doesnt accept her grandma as her own family -.- wtf, that's why i said she's so screwed. 4) her hair is like berus jamban 5)she is just so screwed up there's a list about her until im darn lazy to type it out.

have a happy day ahead peep-os

fri sat sun

2008-08-31T02:11:00.003+08:00

yoz wazzzzaaaaaap people ? damn, i am DAAMMNN tired. heck it was a weekend ! it's 2.13 a.m, Sunday morning. don't think am gg anywhere today because i went out on friday and saturday and i think that's enough already. time to rest at home and do some house chores.

anyway, went to baybeats on friday with zee and sabi(5abi) and man and din and hafiz and met the rest of the berkz over there, and in the meantime while waiting for Force Vomit, we watched the analog girl and the four imaginary boys with zee's mates. (handsome booyyyss alert ! hehehe) & then it's 9.30 so we went to watch FV but we were at the left side, couldnt get in because it was too crowded. But in the end we squeezed our way in and moshed to Siti Don't Give Up and some other. Went home after that, I am daaaammn worn out. saw indra but he was in a bad mood, and apologised. ah whatever, but it's okay bby, really.

so met su and tash and phyl and sher and some other pr phyl mates and went to baybeats. was suppose to meet them at 5.00 but pushed to 5.30 and ended up meeting at 6.10 -.- otw to cityhall bumped into fareez and talked all the way, damn funny guy. HAHA :D and shit, because all my clothes are in the process of washing when i wanted to go out, i had to wore the only thing i had in my closet:the stupid topshop brown dress. i texted fahmi telling him about this whole closet disaster and he called and he told me what to wear -.- ah ended up in that dress with sneakers and sling bag. bloody shit, first thing on my mind:HOW TO MOSH ?! but whatever, hanged around with tash and the rest till 7++ before meeting up with Q. bumped into Hani, her best friend, and the f. gudang kids -.- so met up with fahmi and yazid and wawan and his cousin and the gf, woah the chinese gf damn pretty sia. then me and Q went in to this philiphines hxc band. and i f. care dont give a shit i moshed in dress. HAHA can't resist, and halfway thru i realized i lost my hp. so i was searching frantically and the malay dude beside me was like
malay boy:*SHOUTING INTO MY EAR* HILANG HP EH ?!
me:*SCREAMING BACK INTO HIS EAR*YAYA GOT SEE IT?
malay boy:*STILL SHOUTING* TADI ADE 2 BUDAK CINE AMEK AH
me:*STILL SHOUTING* INGT MUKE DORANG TK ?!
malay boy:*SHOUTING*TAK AH
and he continued to mosh while i went out, pulling Q along. i was damn screwed up. and my head got elbowed and i elbowed that person back. and my feet is all blue black and so is my elbow, prolly from elbowing people too much-.-it's a wonder my dress wasn't torn. went to search wawan and fahmi, told them what happened. wawan irritated the hell outta me, but he is darn funny and he's nice. so it's okay :D step sasuke konon HAHHAHA fahmi offered to buy a new sim card but i said no. makes me feel guilty :S and saw indra again, during electrico's perf. met YY too and bumped into nasir and gang, and some others lah.hahaha so went off at 10.30 wawan and fahmi sent us to the MRT station because they still wanna hang around. was dang tired but saw this handssoommee booyyy(sings in tune) in train :D hehehe
went home, showered and watched tv before gg online. waited for aliff to go online but he wasnt. i didnt talk to him for dont know how many days alreadyyyyyyy T.T imh so much, man this mamat. he's so nice, he stayed up to help me with some ppt slides altho i told him dont need, but he threatened me, idiot -.- baaah shit la, aliff, come online sooooon !! chatted w indra just now, imy too bby. he has work tmr at 8 till 6, poor thing :( anyway, im damn tired now. tata !

MONDAY PUASA !!

old memories

2008-08-27T15:37:00.002+08:00

currently in school, using steph's laptop to blog. it's journalism and broadcasting and he is talkign crap all the way, I SWEAR. he talks and talks about his grandmother stories -.- tmr's PR presentation, and im pretty nervous. still have to write the script on what i am suppose to talk about tomorrow. BAAH. and we're suppose to wear formal wear for presentation -.- G&D LAH and they decided to wear pink top because hawabi LOVES BREAST so pink to represent breast cancer because hawabi will not fail to mention about breast cancer for every of her lesson.

i give up on relationships already. wasting my time only -.- and taking up my time to think about all these things, G&D. maybe meeting cousin later, because she wanna go buy new laptop. AND RAHMAN, YOU WILL NOT GET THE CHANCE TO BLOG AT MY BLOG but you still owe me a post okay ! :D

I AM DAMN BORED LAH. i can't wait for ASSignments to be over. they're a pain in the ass. BUT after assignments, there are exams to concentrate on and then GRADUATION PROJECT. HAAIIYAAA. saw saul yesterday at teh vending machine.
ME: HI SIRR !! *gleaming*
SAUL: Hey !
ME: i've decided to do your module for my GP
SAUL: OOHH MMYY GAAWWWWWDDD
ME: WHY ?!
SAUL: HAHAHA nothing, joking :D you can do your previous topic for gp
ME: yeah2 i know, okay bye !

AH SEE LA THIS PADHAMAN TEACHES US ABOUT VEGETABLES AND FARMING AT CAMERON HIGHLANDS INSTEAD OF JOURNALISM. WHAT THE HELL ?! omg *bangs head on the laptop* eh damn bored la, still got 13 minutes left before school ends. okay i gtg bye bye !

how come whenever i start to have hopes for someone, it just crashes just like that?
but i wish him happiness and all the best

over and done

2008-08-20T16:00:00.005+08:00

so now here i am at gran's place alone because i had to check my mail and save the photos taken just now for (stupid damn bloody irritating) advertising project due this Friday. So it's really killing the shit out of me and Ramizah. I'm damn lethargic and tired and sleepy I couldn't take any more minute but my eyes have to hang open -.- I skipped school from Journalism and Broadcasting Lesson just now, didn't even bother signing attendance because my attendance is full so it's my first time absent, so it's fine. Tho I cabot school a couple of times w/o them knowing :D So I figured while I'm checking mail I might as well blogged since I haven't been bloggin for a pretty long time. My eyebags are getting worst, you guys can start calling me panda. AND I JUST REMEMBERED, NUQMAN OWES ME DINNER. AND I OWE MAMAT PAU(FAUZI) HIS BUBBLE TEA ! zomgx, ah nvm his bubble tea and my dinner can wait. I'm intending to go to the gym w mister ham but too bad I have to wait until I COMPLETELY recover from fly and cough.

My energy level has been just 1 or 2 bars these few days partially because I have to run around almost everywhere around Singapore from school to home to grans to printing shop to food shop to book shop to hospital and i dont know where else. Too bad I have school in the morning this whole week or else I would have taken care of grandpa, who's in the hospital (I hope he will get better soon) for i don't know how much longer. I pity grandma and aunt and uncle and mother who has been juggling and sacrificing their time for work and house work so I'm trying to help a little bit.

Met Fahmi just now. His court case was ............ I cannot say anything already, jialat. I just wish all the best to you okay. Everything's so complicated. He was complaining how he wish he could just escape fromm everything so I just told him straight: Blame yourself, it's your fault you couldn't get what you want and things to go your way just because of your little wrongdoings. Haiya.

Okay school tomorrow and it's tv and production PRACTICAL TEST in which I'm not prepared for because firstly, I LOSE MY BLOODY GODDAMN IT NOTEBOOK and secondly, I GOT NO TIME TO DO THE POWERPOINT AND SOUNDBITES and lastly, MY MICROSOFT POWERPOINT IS SPOILT so I really have no frigging idea what I should do now. Okay I have to rush back home to change and put stuff, meet mom and then go print stuff for assignment and then back to hospital and then back home to do soundbites.

GOOD DAY PEOPLE ! :D

bored

2008-08-14T20:41:00.002+08:00

so here i am now, at jurong east zingdo, with jane and zuhrah waiting for zu to finish work at 9. 15 minutes mmooorrreeeee :D school tomorrow in the morning at 9, advertising lesson -.- caann ddiiieee aaahhhh oh my god. syah's planning chalet at the end of august WOOOOOOOEEEAAAAYYYAAAAHHHHHHOOOOOOOO !! I MISS THEM BADLY. I MISS JANE AND ZUHRAH AND ZU AND IKYN AND WAN AND SYAHIRAN AND HANIS AND KHAIRUL AND HAMIZAN AND NUQMAN AND FATIN AND BRYAN AND JACKLYN AND thos other crappy/loud/retarded people.
Well it seems like Khairul still cannot get over his obsession of hatred for _____. Everytime I talk to him he will go on and on and different methods of killing them. HAHAHAAHHHAHAHA ! damn sadistic.
EH AND MY LIFE DAMN BORING LAH GOT NOTHING TO UPDATE. SO RAHMAN, DONT COMPLAIN AH B!

080808

2008-08-08T17:56:00.000+08:00

080808

last touch

2008-08-08T14:45:00.002+08:00

the phone vibrated
the number is familiar
i answered.
that familiar and vibrant voice,
that never failed to make me laugh.
the moment the first word was spoken,
i detected the disappointment, the sadness.
he had to rush home, from camp.
said had a little trouble, so i asked what happened
and if he's okay, due to the unusual tone.
"grandma just passed away" was what he replied.
silence. i prayed in silent, while waiting for him to reply.
i hope you're okay, sorry to hear the bad news.

2008-08-08T14:06:00.004+08:00

i'm still dead sick. didn't get to do much during tvrp tutorial just now. damn, assignments AND MORE ASSIGNMENTS. PLUS, THE PRESSURE TO START STUDYING. damn it ! GGAAHH am starting on advertising's assignment tonight. damn it, the fever is killing me, plus the back aches and the flu and sore throat and cough. i was suppose to go to the clinic just now but damn, i was too tired and the weather ..... ggooodd. so i went home straight and here i am in front of the pc. downloaded some songs and browse some stuff.

talked to mr trouble-maker yesterday night for 3-4 hours before i went to sleep. bbaaahh i wasnt sleepy lah and neither was he but had to put down the phone :( he hasnt called today, haiya. maybe later. i just hope he doesnt creates any more trouble in camp. received last warning also still never learn lesson, still can laugh2 like it's so funny like that -.- i pray hard for a good outcome for his hearing on the 20th. damn it lah, idk what to say already.

tell me why do you have to do all this ?

2008-08-07T16:45:00.002+08:00

I feel dead. AAAAHHH the fever and flu and sore throat and back aches are killing me all at once. "You look so dead. HAHAHA" Gina said just now -.- Yaya I might as well be dead. Damn I HAD TO attend today's television and radio production tutorial today because it's v. important because Mr. KL went thru the diff. stages and stuff about radio & tv production. Then he brought us to the studio in which we got to meddle with the equipments. DAMN FUN ! I didn't regret a single second, I swear. WOO~ and so I'm the cameraman :D ! or rather, camera-LADY -.- tomorrow's TVRP (television and radio production) again *jumps up and down* hehehe I was pretty nervous when it was my turn to handle the camera because we had to listen to the instructions damn carefully thru the intercom, but it wasn't as nerve-wrecking as I expected. So stayed back after school with the rest of the group members to discuss on our assigments and I cannot deny that Tasha's, our producer, idea is damn great and cool :D I can't wait to start on our assignments really ! :D

So I went home straight after the discussion and reached home around 1.30 p.m. Took shower and a short nap after that. I prayed anybody important won't call me because I was charging my phone and when it's charging, it's in off mode. Shortly after, I was awaken by sisters rumagging thru my pencilbox. Went back to sleep and woke up around 3.00 p.m and stop charging my cell because I felt someone important is going to call, or at least I hope so. And as I was thinking of the devil, the phone rang :D My heart jumped for joy and did a few flipping stunts for a while. HAHAHA It was the first phone call today since he's ppd was low and he's in camp, so.... can't do anything about it but use his friend's phone. I had to call him because his friend has free incoming. HAIYA, but then Sat after he pay his bills then it's his turn to call me. HUAHUAHUA :D He was suppose to book out on Friday, tmr, but he arrived late so he has to stay till Saturday morning before booking out for confinement -.- YAY ! I CAN GET THE ESPRIT BAG BY MONDAY ! :D because he decided to pay half of it and I pay half of it. The bag's 80 bucks but it's soooo nniiiccceee I cannot resist but starve myself everyday to save money for it. and then by next friday I can get the dress I want :D So no plans on Saturday, maybe meet Fahmi but he'll be wit his best friend, ALWAYS, soooooo i don't want to be some sort of intruder since he has been in camp for so long and no chance to hang out with Wawan. So yeah. Maybe we'll meet on Sunday. He wants to go ECP !!!!!!!!!! WAH LAOOO out of all places. But nevermind lah, for his sake. CHEY MACAM P. HAHAHHAH !

2008-08-02T19:22:00.003+08:00

I feel like I've deceived someone. I feel guilty, tho I have done nothing wrong. Oh I don't know what is the meaning of the word wrong in this situation. I just feel everything is so wrong.

back

2008-07-26T03:13:00.002+08:00

hello hello, i've decided to blog again for the second time today. it's 3.18 a.m in the morning and i'm accompanying my mom since she's sewing curtains. there's no one, not really no one just that no one in particular i feel liek talking to, on msn so i shifted to the computer inside mom's room. My laptop is still unable to access internet, but able to access msn, how weird.

so anyway, everybody's pretty busy with their work and school and their life so I'm pretty much stranded alone, how sad ): & Chermaine's birthday is next week so I have to save my money up for a little birthday present for her. Charlie was complaining how everybody loves Chermaine and not him (in a joking manner of course) and he is a funny guy, but I hope he's fine now. After what had happened. It sucks to be in his position really, but everything happens for a reason buddy ! (:

I can't wait for Monday's lesson, because it's about television and broadcasting, so I'm a lil' bit pretty excited about it since the assignment will involve a whole lot of script writing and acting and stuff like that:D & I still can't decide on which module to do for my GP since we've only covered 3 out of the four modules this term. But high probability I'm doing TPSW. Oh gosh, I'm running out of time really. I have notes to write which reminds me that I have not written my notes on 3 chapters of Advertising already and 2 chapters on Public Relations. Oh my goodness, and then there are assignments to concentrate on and deciding what to do for GP because we have to submit the sypnosis by 22 of August, how fast ! I just can't wait for this whole thing to be over and then move on to the next level. As contradicting as it sounds, I'm excited for the exams -.- (okay that sounds really terribly wrong).

P understands whatever that's going thru my mind so well. P made me realize I'm not the only person who thinks and gets treated this way. Despite these things that has been hindering me from moving on, P made me realize that there are things worth living for and there is a purpose for my existence. I just don't know what for exactly, just yet. It's dubious how we're going thru the same things at the same time. Well after all, we're one energy, we're connected to one another.

distant

2008-07-26T00:59:00.003+08:00

Rahman's been bugging me to update my blog whenever he's bored -.- G&DLB! anyway, I was ALMOST sleeping through advertising lesson just now whatever cost price thing and blah blah blah, gees. this term's module is daaaaaammnn booorrriinnggg. Anyway, Fai wasn't in sch today, he was off to Tioman: have a great time there buddy ! and Wallace replied to my hello's and bye's today :D hahahahah ! okay enough. & I cannot stop laughing with Steph and Ramizah today, thank god they're there (or else I would have died my three hours in school there). & Charlie, I hope you're doing fine, you're strong enough for this buddy ! :D It was raining and the air con was blasting so it was a damn nice weather to sleep I cannot resist the temptation. And I can't help it but to disturb Gina: BIRRRDDIIEEE ! :D

Anyway, I'm off to Malaysia tomorrow at 5+, back on Sunday. Cousins are tagging so, WWWOOOOOOOOO GONNA BE DAMN FUN AND FANATIC -.- Time for a little break, I needed it soooo badly.Surprisingly, Dillon called at 11+ in the morning when I was on my way to school. Damn I was trying to contact him like nb like that and finally he called -.- So FINALLY my listening ear was back and I thank god for that, since I feel like breaking down already with all the things happening.

What are friends? Friends don't call you stupid behind your back. Friends won't make you feel like you're the most pathetic person on earth. Friends be there when you need them. Friends do not ask for anything in return from the things they have done for you. Friends do no backstab. Whom would you trust now that the person you used to trust called you stupid, make you feel like you're the most pathetic person on earth and make you feel so fat? What would you do when you're almost at your breaking point and there's no life saver? Would you cry for 5 days straight and the nights after? Would you eat to release your tension? Is eating wrong? How would you feel when people look at you as if you're a pig whenever you're holding crackers, or a packet with 3 nuggets or a cup of drink? What would you do when best friends turns to foes and friends turns to strangers ? What's the purpose of my existence then?

day

2008-07-23T22:38:00.003+08:00

Somebody tell me, why are we living in a world of contradiction. Why is it so hard to be understood? Doing so much for the common good. We lost communication, too many expectations. Everything I have inside, I kept it wrapped up tight. Everybody's asking questions, everybody's wanting more. Hanging on tight by a single thread, where does that leave you now? All I do is listen, and when I talk, they go: "uh, ya okay". Where's the support? I'm not asking for any favour in return but please, just for once, listen and try to understand. Why must people be unappreciative? Complaining when they're life is pretty much okay, complaining about every single little thing not considering that what they say might actually hurt someone's feelings. I can be there when you need me, I will. That's the true meaning of a friend anyway. I forgot how to really laugh, frankly speaking I forgot. I forgot the feeling pf being truly happy. No matter how many postive things/feelings I tried to instill in me, nah, does not work. Never mind, this post prolly does not makes sense anyway. FOOD, NICE WEATHER & NICE MUSIC WILL DO.

2008-07-16T15:27:00.002+08:00

B.B, PLEASE GET THE F. AWAY FROM ME AND MY CLIQUE. YOU ARE GIVING THE CLASS A BAD IMPRESSION OF US, STOP TAILING US. BESIDES, YOU HAVE BEEN TURNING AND TWISTING EVERY SINGLE STORY WHICH HAPPENS TO OTHERS OR YOURSELF UPSIDE DOWN. WTF DO YOU EVEN BOTHER WHEN IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS? FRANKLY SPEAKING, WALLACE IS BEHAVING BETTER THAN YOU. CAN'T YOU SEE IT? NOBODY WANTS YOU IN THEIR GROUP BECAUSE YOU DON'T DO YOUR WORK AND YOU BLAME YOUR TEAMMATES FOR EVERYTHING THAT GOES WRONG. GROOOWWW UUUPP ! AND STOP, BEING FULL OF YOURSELF PLEASE. I DON'T CARE IF YOU WANT TO BE A SLUT OF WHATEVER, BUT PLEASE LOOK AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR. LOOK AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR BEFORE DISCRIMINATING OTHERS, WHO ARE FAR WAY BETTER IN ATTITUDE AND LOOKS, LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW. I AM NOT BEING MEAN OR BEING A BITCH HERE. BUT SERIOUSLY, NO ONE IN THE CLASS CAN ACCEPT YOUR CHILDISH BEHAVIOUR ANYMORE.AND WHAT'S THE PURPOSE OF YOU COMING TO CLASS WHEN YOU DON'T PAY ATTENTION, WASTE YOUR PARENT'S MONEY DOWN THE DRAIN JUST LIKE THAT, AND TRYING TO DRAG THE OTHERS ALONG WITH YOU ? PLEASE, WE HAVE BRAINS AND WE WON'T GET INFLUENCED. SO MUCH OF YOUR COMMON SENSE. AND REALLY, PUT A HALT TO YOUR MINDSET THAT EVERY GUY IS CHASING YOU. IT'S DISGUSTING THE HELL OUT OF THE GIRLS IN CLASS.

2008-07-16T14:33:00.003+08:00

*looks left, right, up, down* okay no disturbances. i was late for school, yet again. which is the second time this week, i think. i only had four hours of sleep last night, it seems like i can't sleep at night (but i can in the day). urgh i hate morning classes ! by the time ir each home, i'm beat ! 12 noon class end, hot hot sun, take mrt to j.e interchange and walk home. baaaah ~ damn tired. i was writing notes in class when i fell asleep halfway -.-" it's journalism and boadcasting today. I SWEAR I'M NOT GOING TO BE A JOURNALIST ! maybe an editor or something, but still, it specialises in journalism -.- oh my goodness ! okay, i am damn tired now.
new assignments, YAY ! (and i'm serious about the yay) my time will be occupied and i got no more time for nothing-to-do period :D laptop's sent to repair, so i have not gone online for err, 2 days already T.T because the PM war with gilababi's Syahiran and Hanis and CB love XY were superduper damn hilarious. Btw, Rahman's my new babi :D *KAN RAHMAN ?! :D * Hira's having diarrhoea, take care girl. Lecture just now was funny and damn boring, like really damn boring. But still, funny. Hahhaha ! Everything that came out from his mouth is just so damn funny ah. And when he lectures: *blahblahblah.......................(5-9 minutes)blahblahblah(stop)*.
geddit? Nobody could understand why he must pause for a really long time. and Ramizah just couldn't stop laughing. hhahahahha ! oh & well, gossips in the toilet. & gossips really do bring girls together :D hahahha !

Anyway, I am just damn tired. It's a lazy afternoon and I don't feel like doing anything. School tomorrow, it's uhm, advertising and something something. ASSIGNMEENNNTTTSS i'm grateful but am complaining at the same time. sleepless nights and panicky last minutes moments with classmates over MSN again, LOL. AND WE RECEIVED OUR GP SYPNOSIS JUST NOW WHICH HAS TO BE COMPLETED BY 22 AUGUST AND START ON IT AS SOOOOON AS POSSIBLE CZ DATE DUE IS 14 NOVEMBEERRRRR. gaaaahhh seems like i won't be celebrating HARI RAYA again this year for exams clashes with PUASA and HARI RAYA. But nvm, BERKAT kan !

2008-07-14T19:01:00.001+08:00

hello. i haven't been blogging for v. long. because everytime i blog, MOM COMES IN. SHE IS DRIVING ME NUTS I TELL YOU I CAN'T STAND IT NO MORE.

please stop, and for once. just listen.

2008-06-24T14:24:00.004+08:00

wow. it's been, idk how many weeks since i blogged.hohohohho. not lazy lah, just been too busy with some school stuff and i've been all over the place recently.hahaha!

went back to grandad's kampung on 20th-23rd June. and period came at the wrong time lah -.- i really didn't want to go back there because 1)there really is nothing to do & 2)period. baaaaaaaaah but it turned out okay. and the moment i reached Singapore i was the happiest girl on earth i tell you, really.
we reached there at night, about midnight and as usual the 'old folks' chattered on and on. and i just love the coffee there :D hahahahha and for the three days over there, i ate and ate and ate like there is no tomorrow, can't help it babe. hahahahhaha and and AND i ate durians like there really is not tomorrow. hahahahahhaha cz tok cik (grandad's sister) has her own kebun. ya, and when i went to the kebun, everybody else didnt get bitten by mosquitoes but i did laaaahhhh. irritating, i cannot tahan and went back. hahahahhaha the durians, i tell you, oommggggg hheeeaaavvvveeeennnn maaannnn :D :D and, acted liek a kampung girl for awhile, since there is nothing else to do, i chased the chickens and roosters :D hahahhahahHAHAHHAHAHAHahhahahahha!! the chickens are so fluffy laahh. hahhahah!

I've been feeling like I'm the one and only happiest girl on earth these few days, idk why either:D hahahhaha went to study, alone, at esp library yesterday. LOL sounds ridiculous but well, i cannot study in a confined room omg, makes me feel suffocated, plus nature makes me feel so epaceful (^.^)v am going to study with gina, rahman, efa, tom,charlie, hira and idk who else at JE tmr. JIA YOU AMELIA! YOU'RE ALERADY HALFWAY THRU IT! JIA YOU! in which after will have dinner with jane and zu, :D Girls day out with Irma (^.^) on Friday hehehehe am so excited for that too, idk why.hahhahahhahahahha!

So yeah, HAPPY SCHOOLING EVERYONE~

player

2008-06-12T20:51:00.003+08:00

anyway, was so bored and going thru Jack's blog when I decided to do this survey, because I AM BORED.

(11)
People tagged with this quiz: skip

(10) First.
First bestfriend: Celeste, but idk what happedned to her now.HAHA
First pet: If I'm not wrong, turtle :D
First piercing: When I was don't know how many months old
First crush: p4! HAHAHHAA
First CD: uhm, i can't recall
First car: not yet
First stuffed animal: GARFIELD :D
First love: oh, uhm. skip? haahs
First place called home: Clementi

(9) Last
Last beverage: HONEY MILK TEA:D
Last car ride: yesterday
Last movie seen: HAHAHAHHA! Ratatouie (or however you spell it) hahahahha! it was looooonnnngggg time aaaggggoooo
Last phone call: Dillon Britter
Last song you listened to: Love in this club:D
Last bubble bath: years back?
Last time you cried: last night
Last thing you ate: KFC
Last bad thing you did: gossiped:D

(8)
Have you ever dated one of your bestfriends: HOHO!
Have you ever been arrested: no
Have you been skinny dipped: no
Have you ever been on a limo: no
Have you ever cheated: yes, everyone has.
Have you ever been in love: lust maybe?
Have you ever been in a car accident: no
Have you ever broken a bone: nope

(7)
Things you are wearing:
shirt shorts underwear bra

(6)
Things you've done today:
woke up around 12, took a cold shower, got ready to go to school, went to buy bubble tea then went to school. rot and talk cock in school with ramizah. went out of class halfway around 2.30 to answer nash's phone call and talked until 3.45 :D :D then took down notes and asked questions and contributed ideas to Mr. Sivam then went home and talked cock all the way home with ramizah and steph then met mom. ate KFC then buy bubble tea, again and went home and did this survey (^.^)v

(5)
Favourite things:
talk rubbish with ramizah. talk otp with nashran. drink honey milk tea mini pearls. study social psychology. music.

(4)
People you tell almost everything to:
ramizah, hira, gina

(3) {Choices}
Black or white :
black

(2)
What you want to do before you die:
bunjee jump, eat all those things i want, really love someone (pretty dumb), skate, not cry for three months straight, etc. there's so many things i want to do!

(1)
Thing you regretted:
Loving someone who don't deserve it.

2008-06-02T14:06:00.002+08:00

It's been awhile since I blogged. There's no point in blogging anyway. Stayed home and decomposed for the weekend, -.- Worst part is, no school on Monday and Tuesday. It's killing me, because:
1) Wednesday is my presentation for Saul's lesson; & idk why I have to be so excited for it. Maybe it's because it is SAUL 0.0 hahhaha! somehow he looks like wolverine -.-
2) I'm looking forward to Saul's lesson; because he is so goddamn it freaking miserably(his fav. word) funny
3) Am going to the WORLD BOOK FAIR at Suntec with Nuqman this Friday; BOOKS!!!! (:
4) Ilyas has yet to treat me to shopping this weekend!! (: huhuhu
5) I miss going out, after 4 days of staying at home and rot and trying to understand the Freudian's theory; I NEED TO BREATHE!
6) I want to see that guy in hoodie!! (: huhuhu

We've bumped into each other a couple of times lah, plus he's really cute, & so he started to say hello first, so yeah. HEHEHEHEHHEHE *grins*

Oh & to gf's, Yanti's inviting us to her kiddo's first birthday on teh 15th of this month (I can't remember what month is it 0.0!!). So yeah, maybe we can go together?
Anything just text me lah.

WOOOOO SCHOOL ON WEDNESDAY !! (: retarded i know.

happy but empty

2008-05-21T22:33:00.002+08:00

Okay so latest update for Fatin Zuhrah Jane Zu and Ikyn if you're free:
-> me and fatin planned to go to Seoul Garden on Sunday in celebration of Zuhrah's birthday because she's not free on Friday, it's her annivesarry with her sayang, happy anniversarry in advance sweetheart! So I'll confirm the time and place to meet later on.

I'm at loss for words. Really, I am. I'm just so confused. It's empty, & hollow.

happy?

2008-05-21T22:10:00.003+08:00

I'm so tired. I can't sleep. I don't know. I'm full of confusion. & I'm feeling so lethargic I can't even concentrate in class. I seriously don't know what the hell is wrong with me. oh my god. I cannot continue living this way. WAKE UP AMELIA WAKE UP!

jaded

2008-05-13T18:03:00.001+08:00

I still remember you love flowers, .............. . Okay whatever. I can't stop, I can't help it you know. Like a flashback. I can't stop grieving. & I feel so, jaded.

bye,

2008-05-09T22:55:00.002+08:00

moving on, no point anyway if someone doesnt appreciates you.WORK TOMORROW ZOMGXXX im so excited lah kan so long never work then finally get to see evryone again!! eeekkk!! :D hmms, yeah sometimes the memories comes back but, i gotta move on. its sad ey, haahs. & what was his personal message?: " Maybe it's just a stupid dream of mine to be by your side gerl". Fuck, seriously.like wtf, come on man i know what is going on. im not stupid you know, like all those typical girls that you've dated before. it just sucks, it seriously does. idk hw the hell im gg to face this monday, the 12th of may, as it's supposedly to be out anniversary. the word itself sounds cheesy eh. like indra said " for what be boyfriends girlfriends, just be best friends & go out together lah ". Lol, met up with indra last week and yesterday for dinner & treated me dinner last week and ice cream yesterday hehehehes:D & then talked to him on the phone for over one hour talk nothing, even tho we were silent most of the times and let the music do the talking, we still didn't put down the phone-.-" lucky free incoming calls! :D okay, i do sound okay kan from here, like got no break-up blues or ntg of tt sort. well yeah im coping nicely, thanks to farhan. but i cant be alone and doing nothing. woah skali he's working tmr, can trash his face with the big plate, & i know my manager will understand :D hahahs hmmm, idk. i cant stop myself from crying myself to sleep at night, & idk why. really,

2008-05-04T17:26:00.003+08:00

Fai's being extremely nice, listening to whatever i have to vent.Thank you my friend.& this random guy whom asked for my no. at town, Zul, has been very nice too, helping me with my assignments (tho he's not from my sch) and listening to whatever i have to complaint and accompanying me through-out my days rotting.Once again, thank you my friend.Im still having a very difficult time going thru this. Especially since on this coming 12th it's our get-together day.Oh my god, I'm coping this very badly.Oh god.I can't stop crying, really I cant.

grant my last request

2008-05-04T17:17:00.003+08:00

Things I miss:
-You never letting me drink gassy drinks when I'm out with you.
-Your morning messages
-Your bedtime calls
-Your laughter
-You stroking my hair
-You pinching my fats
-Your big hug
-You clinging on to me like a leech
-Your smile
-You calling me babylove
-You forcing me to eat
-You ensuring that I'm not on the phone with someone else
-The smell of your hat
-Your smell
-How you say "promise not to leave me" & keep repeating the same thing over & over again
-You looking in my eyes and letting me get lost in it
-Your presence
-The time we went shopping together
-The way you talk, full of expressions
-How you say the weather is so nice every time we get together
-Everything about you
We had a great time on Sunday, but you stopped replying to me messages and calls the very next day.Till now, I'm still waiting.For your response, telling me what has gone wrong.

it's broken, shattered.

2008-05-04T17:10:00.002+08:00

I can't even think about it, cz everytime I come to think about it,I'll break down. But I cannot stop thinking about it. I hate having to go thru this phase again, for the second time. It hurts,it sucks big time. I hate Sundays & I hate going out. Because everytime I go out alone, it'll remind me of you.There's just so many memories that we had together almost everywhere. I miss your morning calls.& I hate having someone replacing that.I miss your bedtime calls & I hate not having the chance to listen to your voice anymore.You left, just like that w/o saying a word or a reason.You left me full of questions and clueless. Oh my god, help me get thru this again.

2008-05-03T12:58:00.000+08:00

I've been so pre-occupied with school work lately i got no time for almost everything.oh my god.i'm so sorry to those birthday i've forgotten.I'm so sorry to those who asked me out but then i rejected the offer.I'm busy.Hope you understand.

plop

2008-04-28T20:57:00.003+08:00

Had a SSSUUUUUPPPPPEEEERRRRMMMEEEEGGGGAAAAUUUULLLLTTTTRRRAAAAA GGRRREEEEEAAAAATTTTTT TTIIIIIMMMMMEEEE with kuku the other day :D hehhehehehes :D altho, i got A LOT of mosquito bites, but "tahan aje lah"(inside joke). i like going out with kuku, can save money:D he doesnt pay for EVERYTHING lah. for some junk food and drinks yes. but we dont eat like really go for lunch at some restaurant or stg lah. Our time spent together very precious, you knnnooowww :D You might be wondering where the hell we've been until I got tons of mosquito bites kan. We went to the jungle, no lah -.- We went to Fort Canning, got some performance there but kuku decides not to watch it. Then dont watch loh, tsk.So we sat, at some bench.& I'm not telling the other details, HAHA! Okay school tomorrow at nine a.m. Like NINE A.M IN THE MORNING!! 0.0!! okay bye:D

2008-04-27T14:03:00.002+08:00

Haiya, the weather is so hot.& I love San (my lecturer, mind you).He's so brilliant, like really. He teaches Human Mass Communication by the way. Oh my god, I can't stop grieving when it comes to school, & I don't know why 0.0?? I stayed home all day yesterday, cause Mom disapproves of me going out yesterday.She said I spent my time outside too much. But eh! What to do? I was out doing assignment kan. Hira's been feeding me in school with chocolates and tidbits she brought from home and I bet I'm turning into a pig soon. HEHEHE Some of the girls in school were kecoh lah, like really kecoh. Halfway thru lecture then the phone rang & then tries to whisper quietly, but it sounded like a panic attack "Eh how to switch off?!! Fater how?!!* HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA it's funny lah! & then Mr. Jailani went on about kids these days talking with the MTV accent e.g: "She was soo like urgh, you know what I mean" hehehehhehe & then me and Gina were laughing our asses off cz he was practically being sarcastic to those "blondes". But whatever, I dont care.hehehehhe
3 more assignments to go, JIA YOU!

2008-04-27T13:49:00.003+08:00

okay im meeting kuku in, a few hours time & idk where the hell we're going.i miss kuku like 477527965477974294759234 times.even more than that lah zomgx.I think i'm going to jump up and down lah.dont know excited for what kan.heeehehehehheehe:D

I FINISH 2 OF MY ASSIGNMENTS ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!YAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!!!!!!!! but 3 more to go -.- omgxxx!
LOL i was talking to ham ytd night & i irritated him all the way with all those zxzxzxzxzxz and about him taking clean energy.hhahaha bad, but oh my i miss being myself lah kan.ham understands(:
SCHOOL TOMORROW LAH OI T.T OH.MY.GOD

2008-04-19T02:22:00.003+08:00

Mood: flushed

it's 2.43 a.m in the morning, & im not alseep yet -.-"
i have tons of assignment to be completed & handed in by the 22 of may
crazy aint it, but man, i gotta do this. diedie must do
going to bugis library later around 10.30a.m & am planning to stay there till the library closes to finish up on my research and stuff, oh god
i cant wait for work on the 10th of may !!!! :D
i miss work, i miss crapping around with weili & dillon & yani & raj & hoi & kk & dillon & chicken little & james bond everybody else
i miss zu and jane and zuhrah and fatin and everybody else
i miss being the amelia i used to be in school
oh god, its just so hard to survive. but i know i will and can make it thru
outing on the 30th with work mates :D !! yeah man
aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh
see, when i want to go to sleep it starts to rain -.-"
okay lah nice weather but then yesterday night i cant sleep siaa!!
all because of the thunders and lightnings
boom here BOOM there, wahlao eh
oh man, lucky its a saturday, LUCKY AH OI
tsk, if only the weekends are longer than the weekdays eh, kan best :D
okay lah, meeting kuku in 7 hours time
cz kuku will accompany me through out my research sessions :D
he'll prolly fall asleep in the library -.-"
haiya, kuku kuku

<3

2008-04-16T18:59:00.004+08:00

Listening to: With you-Chris Brown
Mood: :D

school sucks, really. i've never been thru a phase in my life like this before.
but the lecturer's great. luckily there was ton's of assignment, for it was a crash course, so it would take my mind off things.
dillon's being a nice pal, being there whenever i need someone to talk to.
& sweetheart is being such a sweetheart i cant wait to see him:D

i'm so sorry for not blogging these few days, im really busy.i really am.
& then there's this veryveryvery ultra cute thailand guy in my class:D
but no, i got my kuku:D

2008-04-06T14:12:00.003+08:00

Listening to: Is it you-Cassie
Mood: Enthralled

Hmm, so I'm meeting Jane & Zu later at around 3 to go shop around at Daiso:D
Cheap, plus you can get pretty good stuff over there, yeah man
I've yet to get stuff for school & I haven't got any -.-"
(alamak, it's gonna rain)

Jane's birthday tomorrow, followed by some others
they're turning 17 so soooooooon
haahas :D

Work yesterday was fun.
i mean, there was nothing much to do and then Jonathan & KK were full of crap
But baba(he's just a part time chef i got to know la, my laughing buddy) was not working yesterday T.T or else i would have been laughing my ass of until I have cramps ah hahhaaha
he says i look like rudolph when i laugh, cz my nose will turn red.HAHAHA

i want to go shopping for clothes, but then at the same time i dont know what to buy.
it's like, everything the same.hahhha!
okay2 gtg get ready to meet up with jane and zu
bye!

sadly, it wasn't you.

2008-03-22T13:46:00.002+08:00

Mood: alright
Listening to: Is it you-Cassie

went out with cousins yesterday. we walked from far east to bugis.
no, we walked at bugis then we went to far east, then we walked all around orchard with no sense of direction then back to bugis -.-
hell yeah, i bet we lost some weight.
& hell yeah, they helped me forget all the other things gg on in my life.
we were laughing our ass off like we owned the world

today is a saturday,
& as usual the weather was all nice & sunny in the morning until 2 p.m
when it started raining -.-
i bet it will be all bright again later, just like yesterday :D

*sigh*
too bad it won't be him.
tried to forget, & already in the process of erasing him.
soon, he will just be another shadow in my history book.
just imagine,
girl:"nothing la!"
boy:*sulk all the way home and weeks after that*
-.- friggin' patty.
OKAY FINE it was my fault that i shouted but i was friggin' frustrated at tt time.
tsk, whatever. it all has to do with their ego. bullshit.
ego higher than mount everest.
screw you & your species!

?

2008-03-08T23:55:00.000+08:00

oh & i forgot, work tomorrow. 4-10

god, ):

im not sad about work tho, but stg else.

8.00

2008-03-08T23:47:00.003+08:00

Listening to:Nothing

Mood: ):

Went out with the girls just now, went to bugis.

Bought two tees for $25, it was worth it, looking at the design.

but i had no mood tho, & im sorry,TERRIBLY SORRY girls, for the attitude.

-PMS, & the crowd : wth!

oh, i cant describe my mood. it's so bad.

closer

2008-03-06T16:39:00.002+08:00

Listening to:Closer-Travis
Mood:Down/blue
Weather:Rainy

I'm,.......................,idk how should i describe my feelings.
im so looking forward for the class gathering.
gawd.i hate the weather, it's been wet for the past few days.
i've been down for the past few days.
god,i've been so pessimistic these past few days, whatever.
i want to watch so many movies.
but some have watched it already, so most probably i'll be watching those movies alone, again.

work tomorrow, till 11. at least it helps me take my mind off things, god.
seeing han on sat. says he has some book to pass to me, gotta catch up on each other as well.
idk what i'll do on sunday. prolly sleep he whole day again like the previous sunday.
oh god, im such a pig, seriously.
work on monday again, till 2a.m, yay ?
& sudd i feel so small.

idk what to blog anymore.just listen to the lyrics of this song.

no text messages, nothing.
like me for who i am, not who you want me to be.

2008-02-27T23:45:00.002+08:00

Listening to: Nothing
Mood: :D
im gg nuts man talking to them about the class outing.
why must saturdayyyy?????
saturdayy me and khairul cannot make ittttt
alamaaaakkkkkkk
the convo's making me shit

eeehhhhhhh haapppyy bbaannngggeeeetttt:DD

hitch-ing

2008-02-26T02:24:00.003+08:00

Listening to: You can take my heart-Pengawai Negeri

Mood: Light-hearted/Giggly/Cold/Nice

OMGGGG the whole night talking to Khairul, funny la sial

hhahahahhahah! dang, freaking funny lah okay

from mat reps to minah reps to LADYBOYS

hahahahahhahaha whatever, not gonna say anything further. hahahahha!!!

okay, so the calls were not like those used-to-be-calls anymore T.T

but it was nice (:

talked about his past & his regrets, oh well

just learn from your mistakes

wtv it is, im here to lend you a listening ear.

he went to sleep w/o telling me -.-"

leaving my text messages unanswered

later tmr, same excuse: sorry smlam tk reply, da gone da

hahhahahahahha wth lah

<3333333

seek and destroy

2008-02-17T16:05:00.002+08:00

Mood: bright/bored
Listening to: Kiss Kiss-Chris Brown
Chris Brown is hhhoooottt, don't you agree? (:

dang, im friggin' tired. work from monday to friday straight.
& friday's work was the worst, 9-4 & 5-2
even arthur noticed:
arthur: wah, your batt suddenly low ah?
me: uhh, ya lah *can't walk already*
cz usually my batt will still be full till the end of work
but on friday, the event was about to end & my batt was already so low
my god, the d&d was worst then on wed's event lah
in which wed's event is much much bigger than fri's event -.-

went out with girls yesterday, met them at chinatown, in which i got lost -.-
like wth, we can even get lost in our own country
& thing is, singapore is so small lah & we can even get lost -.-
we missed chingay, but dang! when we passed by the area, the chinese guyss were hottttt

ouhgay. so work on wednesday was indeed funny.
the guys from stewarding, whom i've never seen before, thought i was chinese.
& they were talking among themselves discussing whether i'm chinese or from myanmar -.-
hehehhahahahehhehahaaa!!!
& then there was this guy wahhh siiaa, frigggiiinnnn' hotttt
he looks like chinese, in fact, he really look like chinese
i thought since when suntec got this friggin hot chinese guy from stewarding?
then when i was carrying all the porcelains (it was friggin heacy lah as usual) to the decoy
he asked me this:
c.boy:nak tolong tak?
*i looked blankly at him*
*then he asked again but this time in english cz he thought i cant understand malay*
c.boy:do you want me to help?
me:*stammering*uhh ya.(still looking blankly at him)
then he looked at my name tag.
c.boy:u faham melayu tak?
me:ah ya faham
c.boy:ah kan aku da cakap die melayu! (shouted to his friend which is beside him only-.-)
& i laughed and walked away
& i overheard them saying: jadi die faham ah ape kite bebual psl die tadi!
hehehhahahhahahahhhhahhehah! zomgx

phase

2008-02-08T19:20:00.000+08:00

Mood: not so good
Listening to: Is it you-Cassie
they're just the same aren't they?
they come and go when they're done with you
& then treating you like a piece of shit
& then they'll blame you for not keeping in contact with them
when you asked "why haven't been messaging/calling me?"
& then they'll answer "you were the one who ran away from me"
oh crap.

2008-02-03T17:14:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Is it you-Cassie

Mood: :D

oh hey, i've been having this song on repeat since, forever?

heheeahha ok not forever la but you know (:

yeah, so i dont really BELIEVE in horoscopes but i usually read it because it seems interesting and just to see what it says, so here it is.

no, actually this is more of what type of person you are according to your zodiac(:

interesting much, so this is mine:

SCORPIO - THE ONE !(10/23-11/21):

Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Best kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. ONE OF A KIND.Gorgeous Smile.Not one to mess with. The best sexual partners in the zodiac.

Lol, i dont think i have a gorgeous smile tho, i think that particular one is nonsense.

But i have to agree with some tho, like being stubborn (heeahhahe) & giving a good fight for what i want :D

Oh yeah, just so you know, I'm over the moon for these few days

even tho it has been raining heavily(:

sick cycle corousel

2008-01-25T00:31:00.001+08:00

Mood: Motivated
Listening to:Tattoo-Jordin Sparks
Han's trying to motivate me.
I'm pretty confused. there's so many thoughts gg thru in my mind.
altho i got thru and got the courses i wanted, im pretty disappointed.
oh whatever

<3's

2008-01-22T13:48:00.000+08:00

Listening to:So yesterday-Hilary Duff
Mood: Light :)
Out on Sunday with Nana, Mok, Bear, Haikal and this other girl, a friend of bear's.
Like finally, I havent gone out in ages! my oh my
I hope O's result will be fine so tt everything will go well :D

upside down

2008-01-22T13:20:00.001+08:00

Listening to: I'm not missing you-Stacie Orrico
Mood: Over the moon & sun :D
oh hello people, it's been don't-know-how-many-days since I've blogged.
& OMG O's result is in two days time 0.0
see, now that i've mentioned it im having butterflies in my stomach.
work later at 5 till 11
syah says im crazy, gee well idk what's up with me & work
okay i think that's all, im too lazy to blog. bye
oh & haikal says i talk like cina baba -.-"
:D

2008-01-17T21:57:00.000+08:00

ooooohh look at all these delicious stuff :D
oh, & work was just as awesome as before:DDD

life's wonderful

2008-01-17T21:43:00.001+08:00

Mood: Jubilant :D
Listening to: Tattoo-Jordin Sparks
I sat on the steps just now before going off watching the day turn to night.
I was so bored, i called and asked everyone if they're outside or if they're nt too tired to go for dinner after work. but no one was available ): this always happens
as i sat at the curb outside my workplace, watching the vehicles pass
& the day slowly turning into night time
i reminisced about the past, going thru every single detail carefully
i realized, try to enjoy life while you're alive.
whatever you've gone thru, it's just part and parcel and the ups & downs of life.
what has happened has already happened, & it's time to go for the new direction
cherish everyone you have while they're still here
do not do something when you're having doubts about it
but it's okay to try some "dangerous" stuff once in a while
but what i meant by "dangerous" is not like smoking or drinking and get yourself wasted
well, i guess i've moved on. Finally

hokka

2008-01-15T18:25:00.000+08:00

Mood: on cloud 9
Listening to: tied up too tight-hard fi
work on thursday and friday
thurs: 9 a.m-4 p.m
fri: 9 a.m-4 p.m & 5 p.m-2 a.m
pretty odd hours but heck, money's gonna come in
i think i'm gonna start finding for a new job, but the people there gerekkkkk
i'm seriously the happiest girl on earth :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

boy oh boy

2008-01-03T20:45:00.000+08:00

Mood: Blank
Listening to: your ex lover is dead-stars

im so bored. i really truly am. i need to go exercise. i need to start afresh, it's already 4 days pass the 2008 & im still feeling the same, ntg different. maybe because im nt schooling. talking about sch its just a few weeks left till the results are released and its already driving me nuts. yay, work tmr. which is great, i'll get to see that botak man again, nt forgetting the diploma holder. LOL well he really has a diploma in business engineering. i hope he's working tmr, cz he's nice to talk to. ohhh mannn i need to go out & socialize. im pretty anti social these days idk why. maybe because of period. oh well wtv, am so looking forward to work tmr. bye mates.

dffg

2008-01-03T17:15:00.001+08:00

Mood: Sorry
Listening to: Nothing
First of all, I'd like to apologise to those whom messages I didnt reply to during New Year
& to my chingus whom I didnt wish them a Happy New Year
mainly cz my ppd was low. Stupid reason, i know.
& i'm terribly sorry.

boots

2007-12-26T19:34:00.000+08:00

It's been a loooooooooooooong time i havent been blogging.
LOL, i wasn't THAT busy, just that am lazy sometimes you know.
Sometimes there's ntg to do online.
Okay although it's just Wednesday, it has been boring. I'm only half way thru the week.
Not much work this week. Only working this sat -.-
Mirr's sister kerja kahwin this Sunday. I was planning to go out on Sunday
well, can go out after the kerja kahwin right.
Jane texted me & told me tt Westmall is having this Everlast sale & they;re selling they're jackets & shoes and $20 ++
oh my!! everlast reminds me of Lee Jun Ki :D
a day out with the girls was nice, a decent get together
& zu just cant stop rambling, well its typical of her tho hahahhaha
Work last saturday was gggrrreeeeaaaattttttt !! :D
Lady luck was with me & i hope she is too this coming sat :D
my group was full of hot chi. guys :D
LOL & then there were three new girls, one chinese born american i think, or japan and the otehr 2 malay girls. one of them well, was huge, and the other was skinny the both of them have this squeaky voice, so the guys & their partners were irritated at them -.-
well, my partner was rather, HOT. like really. he's so build (!!)
& we have to manage 3 tables so he told me to concentrate on one and he manage the other 2 :D
so gentleman, no. i'd say the guys on the same team as i am, which is under Jason, were really very gentlemen. they WON'T let me carry the big tray full of dishes cz they said it was heavy -.-
i can manage laaaahh :D & then my partner, in which i have forgotten his name cz his name was too long hahahha, was rather competing -.- & he assured me tt me & him would be the best and fastest team -.-" but what he said was true lah, LOL
then when i was doing OT, dillan was removing the table cloths and he went around shouting "kecik! kecik" sounding like a bat -.-
botak head. LOL :D

hot

2007-12-15T15:15:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Mr Postman-The Carpenters

Mood: HAPPY:D

I discovered that work wasn't that bad, actually it's not bad at all.

It's just the muscle aches that are killing me, having to stand for the cocktail session for one hour really sucks big time LOL

By the third day, I got to know like, a lot of ppl already & they knw my characteristics already

I was under Jonathan AGAIN yesterday -.- , but he's nice lah LOL

but then at the end of my OT, i found out i was suppose to be under ARTHUR -.-

& i got a muslim table ytd, the ppl were funny LOL

dang, there was this aunty lah, pretty plump and funny (cz all the aunties there are funny)

Ham's friend called her MONSTERINC.

HAHHAHHAHAHAHA dang, we cannot stop laughing lah when Ham told us that although it was bad, but it's funny. Oh, not forgetting, the dishwashers are supercute :D

& then there's Dillan. he's weird

he worked OT also ytd so we finally got the chance to talk.

We were wiping the glasses & he sat down beside me & helped me

D : when you first saw me do you think I'm scary?
Me: uhh, ya. when i first saw you i thought you look like the guy from the adams family HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

D : *no reaction* but tt guy's cute

Me: -.-

LOL, & the interesting convo went on and on and on.

Dillan's half arab & half stg stg, i dint really catch the other part LOL

but he look like eurasian, but he's not.

DILLAN'S NIIICCCEEEE :D

i like the people thereeee laaahhhh oii

& then there were people who keep asking what race i am cz they thought i was chinese -.-

& then they say i look really diff. w/o specs -.-

then that monsterinc. (HAHAHHA) say i look more childish with specs -.-

then she go laugh to herself -.- monster inc monster inc HAHHAHAHA

i'm so brown, well at least not KICAP (hahahahhahahhhahahha inside joke)

then after OT went to the changing room. Dillan changed otw there -.-

I took the lift with ALL the captain plus Dillan, nervous lah at first

cz it's like, CAPTAIN LAH HELLO

but it was ntg LOL

then one of the captain (cant rmbr his name) asked me:

- were you the one who lost your IC?

me: no, but i found that girl's IC inside my blazer.

& then Dillan was laughing.

& then that captain heard me talking with Dillan and he went:

- wah she talk like a girl from convent school like that

me: no, i came from a neighbourhood school.

& then D laughed again. He's so weird lah, like really2 weird.

there was one point of a time when he was talking to me then sudd he mumbled to himself -.-

LOL then there was this chi. guy i made friends with a couple days ago

so i asked him : you working tmr?

him: ya, why? wanna be my partner rightttt????*grins*

LOLOLOLOL.

the chi. guys are really friendly like the friendly fire -.-

but then i dont really like this malay guy, we called him the blonde haired guy -.-

do things also nvr do properly. he go and break one of my desert plate sia then he's like so bengap like that clear the broken plate only and then what about the pieces of broken plates on the other plates?? STUPID GUNDOOO MAPLEK

ppl thinks he's good looking but he looks so, typical to me. him and his friend BOO

so small eyes. the face also look like shark -.-

WTV LAH EH I DONT GIVE A DAMN

idk what's up with the captains but all of them keep singing

"let me go home" dang.

& then after the whole event was gg to end, syah joey and clament was gg around stealing the nice black wallet from the event -.-

OKAY I CANT WAIT FOR WORK THIS SUNDAY

hearing their voice only gives me shivers down my spine, uurrrgghhh

floss

2007-12-12T21:29:00.000+08:00

Mood: Cranky/Blue/Confused

Listening to: Gotta go my own way-HSM

I'm very confused.

I miss hanging out with the girls, ALOT.

Maybe we should meet up one day when everyone's not working.

Work tomorrow, SIGH.

dang, i can feel the pinch of those having to go to work everyday now.

it's crazy, or maybe i'm too used to staying/rotting at home.

meeting ham tmr then off to work, HAM-CHI!

i miss school, badly.
i miss the people, i miss certain teachers.

& i miss laughing at some teachers in the hall with the rest around me.

well, those teachers definitely deserved being laughed at. pfft

DANG, I REALLY MISS SCHOOL BADLYY T.T

weird, but true.

blue

2007-12-09T20:37:00.001+08:00

Listening to: Dear Diary-Mocca

Mood: Sneezy/Blue/Lonely

So yeah, I haven't been blogging for the past few days, or rather, weeks.

I am so tired, I am so sick.

Work yesterday was tiring. Went to meet Zufaidi at Cityhallt MRT station at 3.30 pm, but he was late -.- He went to borders while waiting for me, & then he turned up late -.-

I was nervous at first, since it was my first time working.

& my first time working was really hard, it was a HUGE event.

so i was pretty nervous.

COINCIDENTALLY, Farhan was working there too.

His agent threw him over at Suntec for this huge event.

So yeah, I bet Zufaidi and Han were irritated at me cz i was shooting them questions after questions.

But luckily my captain, Anuar, is a really nice guy [:

I am so tired lah, the dishes were SUPER heavy and the jugs were heavy.

Cz you're expected to pour the drinks loopsided not like the normal way you pour your drinks out of the jug. & i end up hurting my thumb, but heck, this is work.

Yeah, I got busted a couple of times, but Anuar was nice, he told me nicely and stuff.

DANG, it's my first day of work yaw, and i had to work at a HUGE event.

a bit ridiculous eh?

the captains were super hilarious and the staffs were really really nice and friendly [:

I mean, they just talk to you if the pass by you at the corridor or stg.

It's really easy to get along with them, like really easy.

The aunties were really really funny, like hell.

I was laughing like almost everywhere. The chefs were funny too, LOL

OH &, THE CHINESE GUYS THERE ARE LIKE 63526683164 CUTE!

DANG DANG DANG, thank you soooo much syah for giving me this job! I owe you. LOL

The job's tough tho, but hey, which job's not tough?

So yeah, tick tock tick tock, & it's 11. HURRAY

Went home with Zufaidi, & even tho i was super drained out already,

i still got the energy to talk to him all the way home. LOL

am nt working today & mon, so prolly i'll be working from tues to thurs straight.

*YAWNNN*

NUMB

2007-12-01T00:24:00.001+08:00

Mood:Blank/Excited

Music:Walla Walla-The Offspring

PICNIC TMR WITH PRI SCH DARLINGSS :D

actually, it's an all-girls party to celebrate Jahirah's b'day

HAPPY SWEET 16 BABE !!

yeah, so we're celebrating it at botanics & everyone's expected to wear either dresses or skirts

so yeah, cool:D

SHIT'S MAKING PIZZAAAA YAAWWWW :DD

hmm, & then im off meeting wonderboy-annemarie (go fig. !)

& i fell down in front of the toilet door just now T.T

now my right knee's swollen, T.T

okay so bye! :DD

boredom

2007-11-23T21:36:00.000+08:00

Mood:Calm/Peaceful (at last)

Listening to:Gotta go my own way-HSM

i still cannot get over the "tell me + lies" perf. laahh BB looks so cute, & TOP ( sorry ikyn :D ) is making me laugh my ass off. GD is still ever so misch. as ever when he's performing tell me with WG i was a bit fed up lah at first & was throwing tantrums at first cz, BB was so flirtatious lah on stage but my tantrum came to an end when i watched the practice of tell me + lies in the stud. lols, okay i was jealous when i watched them perform ( ok this sounds super stupid ) cz WG got to dance with them and my maknae even held hands with one of WG members. hahahhahaha lol, but it was for entertainment sake lah Amelia, tsk tsk. the audience was screaming like mad, man. of course lah they're excited. but top's partner from WG was super hotttt lah, & her voice was super hottt also lah.dang, my maknae looks like one hot ahbeng man, so sg'rean :D

MAKNAE <3333

heyheyho

2007-11-20T02:53:00.000+08:00

i'm so tirrreeeddd. went to search for a job again today.*SIGH* the person from freshbox didn't call back :(i really really want that job lah.like, badly. mainly cz the workers are cute, hahhahahahha :D

if there's no other choice, i'll be working with syahiran. at suntec -.- [ulu ulu] it's really tiring lah, esp sitting around at home with nothing to do except to argue with mother -.- ( typical ) but luckily father is the peacemaker :)damn, i went out today with only 10 bucks, inclusive of my transport money,so i had no choice but to top up 10 bucks to my ezlink and eat mcdonalds -.-which is making me ultra sick.

hmm, went to imm & i saw hadziq. & he was like superr duper mega ultra excited lah -.- , that boy. & the shop that i wanted to work in at imm only needs full timers willing to work on weekends and public hols -.- how disappointing. i thought p.h and weekends are just part timers job ?! pffft. ya so tmr syah will inform me the details of the working hours and such, & they pay $6/hour lah !pretty good lah !! morning shift from 10 am to 5 pm. very flexible :)

& then syah taught me this:
syah: if they ask you to work night shift just say you cannot work at night. -.-

saw hanis clament and joey at imm just now, just came back from jobhunting also. it's so irritating lah. when you're 14 & looking for a job, the age requirement is 16. & when you're 16 looking for a job, the age requirement is 18 -.- wth !! & then i tried westmall just now also, and i went in this one shop selling very cute merchandise but the salesperson is old around 50+ and she looked VERY mean. the flyer said that she needed part time sales associates but didnt put any further details so i just went in and tried my luck. then, just as i was about to ask her for the vacancy, she looked at me with those piercing eyes and said rudely "I NEED CHINESE". **** her. so ******* biased & racists. i don't understand why they need people who can speak both chinese and english. i thought only english is the common language? im still agitated because of that incident.

but wtv, syah has been a lot of help regarding this ________ situation :) at least it helps release my anger and my thoughts and feelings and im taking his advice. hhhahha! may sound WEIRD, but wtv.

okay, im so tired already i cant think any further. blog soon, bye.

he knows, what am i to do?

should i hide myself in the rubbish bin?

will he ignore me forever?

will he think im just being silly?

they say im too paranoid,

maybe it'll turn out good ~~or bad.~~

i'll pray.

2007-11-18T16:11:00.000+08:00

Watch this !! hahah look at PMS & MC yoo's reactions lah! super funny. hahha but the main intention was to show how cooool TOP is ^^, !!!

eco child's play.

2007-11-17T15:28:00.000+08:00

Mood:Blue
Listening to: Class 'A' Love Affair-The Great Spy Experiment

Okay so I went to Zu's house to help the rest who are there already (Esmund, Jane & Zuhrah) with the food and the carrying of stuff to Jurong Point. Too bad we had to take the train as there was no transport to send us, who are carrying the food, to the chalet itself. So we had no choice but to take the train there. The journey was super torturing lah !! We walked one big round the estate to find the underpass -__- Very stupid lah. But anyhow, we were walking by the side of the road ( we crossed the underpass and now walking towards the chalet ) when Zu heard "Meow, Meow". At first she thought it was Esmund lah, because Esmund could do that soun, sounding exactly like the cat itself. So Zu did not bother. But then it continued so she turned towards this huge tree and saw a kitten !! How cute, and it's eyes are blue. & it's not just some blue, but it's like the Ocean Pacific blue. With it's eyes so innocent, meowing because it's hungry, we pitied it and carried it along with us, with Zulaiha putting it in her bag when we were at the office collecting our keys. Don't worry lah it didn't suffocate because Zulaiha's bag is big and is not covered. So when we FINALLY reach, Hamizan & Syahiran went to shower the kitten in the sink. hahhaha !! very cute lah !! then the shampoo-ed the kitten and dried it. Syahiran took care of the kitten & he really looked like the father of the kitten lah !! hahahhaha >.< !! I can see his future :) ya, then Syah played with the kitten and called the kitten KIREI-KIREI. you should have seen his face & hear him say that. hahahhahahah !! ya then, they rented the bicycle and went to the beach to play. I had a MAJOR injury when i was climbing the rocks lah. hahhaa! The corals cut my toe, leaving a huge scar that when I dipped my feet in the seawater I can see the blood flowing out :D wasn't scary enough for me. So Zulaiha had to carry me back to the shore and Lionel came over to take over. Lionel asked for the First Aid Kit and put some medicine on my toe, he said it would hurt terribly but I replied, "How come I don't feel anything?". He was super shock lah! hahahhahah and then said my immune is strong. hahahahhahahahha!! Some of the corals got into my flesh so I pulled it out myself. I still dont feel anything :) NO PAIN, NO GAIN, NO FUN !! hahah for the whole of the 3 days, trouble really went to me man. I really had a lot of injuries. At night we went to cycle, me syahiran bryan royston hamizan raja zulaiha hanis, & Syahiran had to tumpang Zulaiha, no comments. We started cycling from 11 p.m and we cycled all the way to Changi lah. We came back around 2 a.m FUN FUN FUN hanis was damn slow let me tell you. But we waited tho and I took the lead ! :D It was super fun lah. When we reached, all our legs were aching to the max. My knees felt like as if they will dismantle anytime, really and it felt like that for the whole of 2 days, I can't walk or Cycle. But I still did it :D NO PAIN NO GAIN NO FUN !! :D ya so, everybody fell asleep at around 4 or 5 a.m and woke up around or 9 a.m to play Naruto. hahhaa!! Zuraidah, Jane, Esmund, Zuhrah, Andrew and Lionel went to watch the sunrise tho. Oh &, Zaffan's nipple are SUPER sensitive. Hahahhahahahhahaha!! cz, ham put toothpaste on his nipple and he jumped. dang, you should have seen his face, and then after washing it off, he cant go back to sleep. so he took care of the kitten, which is R21 due to the violence. hahah!
On the second day tho, quite a no. had to go home like bird nest & yong kuang. Syahiran and the sensitive-nipple guy, Zaffan went to work at 11 and came back at 12 p.m and everyone went to the rocks to sit there. Lionel ahd to guide me tho, as I MIGHT injured myself AGAIN for trouble was looking for me :D & a few minutes later the rest went back including me, except for Zu, Jane, Zuhrah, Andrew, Lionel and Esmund. Minutes later, Lionel went back to the chalet. & right after Lionel went off, Zu & the rest who were still there saw a shooting star !!!! Bryan, Royston, me, raja and hanis couldnt take it anymore so we decided to sleep since we only had like, 3 hours of sleep the previous night. So I occupied One bed, Bryan occupied the other bed and Royston, Raja and Hanis occupied the pull out beds. The rest slept at level one of the chalet. A LOT OF PEOPLE snored. Before sleeping, Syah and Zaffan pulled put the electric wire andeverything just went off. Zulaiha went chasing around for them. Syah and Zaffan were kicking bottles lah at our window. They were at the first floor and the rest were at the second floor TRYING to sleep, due to the noise just the 2 of them were making. Hamizan was talking SO LOUD i feel like smacking his face lah. Zu told him to talk softer and he said 'I AM TALKING SOFTLY NOW! " which is a shout in the normal human hearing. The next morning, Bryan came up to me and said "You go slap me face last night for what?" & I was like "Did I?" hahahhahahahhah!! I have the tendency to beat someone when sleeping lah. I still remember at Thailand, Shikin slept beside me and was punched. HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!! okay I'm sorry okay. But it was funny lah. Haiyo.
This is like so much info lah but not yet the complete story. I'm tired already. Bye bye

quick update.

2007-11-15T02:04:00.000+08:00

Mood:Ecstatic/Tired

(okay that neoprint was taken on 10.11.2007, at je)

ya, so this is gonna be a short post, i guess.

uhm, it's 7 hours &49 minutes exactly to go till I meet Zu at her house with the rest

to get the food prepared for the chalet in 8 hours & 48 minutes time.

& ham's ManU jersey is so big lah, the sleeves are up to my elbow and it reaches my knees.

super big, & that's only size M -.-

& my stuff aren't ready yet.

aiyo, tmr must wake up super early lah, irritating.

oh & XY, i really hate you for not coming lah!! :(

*i hope freshbox calls tmr ^.^

ego

2007-11-08T22:55:00.000+08:00

Currently listening to: Ego, The Sounds

Mood: Screwed Up

Sometimes I wonder why the opposite sex have to have so much ego in them.

Bleargh, they're driving me up the wall.

Life's a bitch, a total bitch.

I'm going jobhunting with syahiran & hamizan this coming monday

Nurinda says Starbucks at Cathay and PS NEEDS people.

So yeah, we'll try our luck.

Pfft, I'm already rotting at home.

Mom's back to her psychotic attitude like last time I wish I'm still taking O levels because her attitude was better then.

She's driving me up the wall also.

Everyone has been driving me crazy.

The plans for whatsoever and everything.

I mean, if you guys are lazy or do not want to then it's fine with me because

I'm totally fine with it. I'm not sore because of that.

I'm glad you guys remembered it, it's the thoughts that counts babes.

I has been driving me crazy

plus the irritating replies R has been giving me

and MOM. oh my god, i prefer going to school.

I'm already decomposing.

I can't wait for Monday lah!

2007-11-08T18:23:00.000+08:00

I can't wait for Lionel's bbq this coming monday !!
mainly because someone will be there :D
haiya, i'm already rotting at home
I don't know what's the fun of holidays lah people
Life's been a bitch
due to alot of stuff, actually no.
i don't know lah, i've been feeling down lately.
IMYSM RPBR

2007-11-08T18:18:00.000+08:00

I AM ALREADY MISSING SOMEONE LIKE
DFHGJKD834U528NMCDG893U5!!

Of course

2007-11-06T11:50:00.000+08:00

Do giggle for me again lah :DD

IMYSM

That's Just

2007-11-05T22:30:00.001+08:00

My heart suddenly feels so heavy & empty.

Tomorrow is the last paper and I have no mood to study already.

After that I can hurray like there's no tomorrow ah!!

Damn, just damn it.

Suddenly I feel like everything is so meaningless.

I am so confused about everything right now.

I don't even know how I feel.

Or even maybe what's my purpose of living?

Mom, that's the purpose.

Today's Social Studies paper tested on Venice and NONE on Diplomacy & Deterrence.

Damn it, again.

Mrs Baljit confidently said: VENICE 100% WILL NOT COME OUT.dIPLOMACY & DETERRENCE IS VERY IMPORTANT.

But I couldn' blame her though.

No one can predict what's gonna come out for O's.

My heart feels so heavy.

:((

2007-11-03T23:53:00.000+08:00

JUST 3 MORE DAYS & O LEVELS ARE OVERRRR!!!

& then it's time to celebrate.

FIGHTING FOR SOCIAL STUDIES!!

haiya, i'm so sick and tired already lah.

i'm waiting for the queue to shorten but then it keeps getting longer and longer.

(i'm at mac now lah)

it's already midnight, i thought the no. of people will decrease but then i was wrong. haahs.

the chalet has been postponed to 19, 20 & 21 of november.

and it has been booked.

NOW I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOO SUPER DUPER MEGA ULTRA EXCITED LAHH!!

we plan to wear man united's jersey and leave zaffan put alone.

then i told hamizan this:

me: but then if I wear man u's jersey i'll be betraying liverpool.

ham:nvm ah! wear man u's top and liverpool shorts.

me: -__________________-"

wth siaaa hamizan kamari!! :]]

[sigh] that mangkok haired chinese guy wasn't here yesterday.

neither is he here today.

WWWHHHYYYYYY????!!!!!

:]]]]]

he is so sueprdupermegaultracute laahhh

like super cute lahhh!!!

:]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

his fringe is like so super straight. and he is so super sexy.

Lol, wth. okay lah, study mode now.

bye babes.

sick & tired

2007-11-01T05:50:00.001+08:00

Today is Thursday, the 1'st of November.

And it is 5.57 a.m in the morning.

Here I am sitting in Pioneer Mall's Macdonald, blogging.

I am like, so tired. Like really really really tired.

I neeeeeeeeeeed some sleep. It's not something I want, but something I need.

Studying has taken up most of my time lately.

I have not had my sleep since yesterday, memorising food and nutrition of course.

I'm having my paper in a few hours time.

And once F&N is done, I am so relieved.

I I have to choose which book I am going to burn first, it has gotta be F&N.

I am so bad in that subject yaaaw.

O LEVEL IS GONNA BE OVEEERRRR SOOOOONNN

REEEAAALLLLLYYYY SOOOONNNN!!!!!!

I AM SOOOOO GONNA JUMP FOR JOY YAWWW :)))

haiya, i'm really very tired lah

there is like so many things to do after o levels man.

1. I HAVE to go visit my grandma and grandpa and my lovely uncle and cousins.

[ I miss them like 84759847268094385728436 times man! ]

2. I have to bond with my family.

[ Guys, I'm so sorry for being absent at home lately ]

3. I have to go search for a job -____-

[ Gogon, if you're reading this, I hope I can work part time at your workplace ]

4. Go book the chalet

[ Like reeeaaalll soooonnnnn ]

5. GO PLAY ARCADE LAH

6. Go catch up with all the movies.

7. Catch up with all my friends, my pri school mates & my myspace friends

[ I miss them, like seriously ]

8. I HAVE TO CATCH UP WITH MY SLEEEEEEEEEEEPP

9. I HAVE TO CATCH UP WITH THE KOREEEAAAANNNN STUFFF

good luck everyone, for your upcoming papers!

chao

Lovelies

2007-10-02T19:22:00.000+08:00

Some were annoying
Some were nice
Some were quiet
Some were noisy
Some can be super uncooperative.
I remember,
How noisy and hyper Kinwah is
until we thought he is suffering from some disorder (hahahahahaha).
How the whole class imitate Kinwah's "WHAAAATTT" & the neck scratch.
How the whole class called Kenvin "the Light"(inside joke).
& the laughter one can hear from miles and miles away, Zuraidah ^.^
Zulaiha the BULAT (ahhaha)
& royston, Mr 69 percent
Dhiya, always forgetting what she wants to say
& many many more.
No matter how annoying the malay boys can be, they're still fun to be with yaw! :D

We had a gathering after the graduation, dinner together to be precise.
Though some cannot make it due to some reasons, it was FUN!!!
It was the first time we went out together and it was already superduper fun.
I wonder how the next outing is going to be like.
There was so much laughter!!
We had dinner late though, at 9.30 -_-
Then we went to play arcade, & watching alien dance para-para was funny lah!
HAHAHHAHAHAHA
everybody except Lionel and Jane and Zu looks funny lah.
& then there's Kinwah.
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA
he looks like he was going to "Zouk" later (nightclub lah)
Kinwah, don't take this to heart.
& I know you wouldn't ^.^
I can't wait for the chalet(if everyone agrees) after the O's
!!!!!!!!!!!
^.^

I'll upload the photos some day eh fairies, night!

2007-09-11T17:30:00.000+08:00

Life's a bore w/o school, really.
but luckily there are stuff to do like studying to fill up my schedule.
i wonder how the hell my life is gonna be after the whole school thing has ended.
*SIGH*
IIII AAAAMMMM SSSSOOOOOO BBBOOOOOORRRRREEEEDDDDD.

2007-09-08T20:33:00.000+08:00

1. Yoochun is the lazy one in the group.
2. Junsu wakes everybody up in the morning with his video games.
3. Changmin is a crybaby.
4. Junsu is an uncle.
5. Yoochun is from the U.S. but was born in Korea.
6. Jaejoong is the "mom"; he cooks.
7. Yunho is the leader.
8. The house in "Ocean's 12" is the house in Miduyo.
9. Yoochun's family currently lives in Virginia.
10. Yoochun has had a lot of girlfriends.
11. They watch Korean dramas when they can/have time.
12. Junsu, Yunho, and Yoochun are all ambidextrous.
13. Jaejoong and Yoochun both dropped out of high school.
14. They both used to smoke.
15. Jaejoong wants to marry a fan- he believes that he`ll end up marrying a fan anyway.
16. Junsu wants a bright girl with a positive outlook of the world. Yoochun thinks it`s because Junsu is a negative person.
17. Yoochun doesn`t want to get married. (Junsu disagrees...he thinks that he MUST get married...)
18. Jaejoong wants 2 daughters and 1 son while Junsu wants 2 sons and 1 daughter. Yunho wants 5 sons and 20 daughters - Junsu says "Think of your wife!" and Jaejoong says "Are you trying to kill somebody?"
19. Yunho wants a girl who is assertive and has senses - someone who can guide him.
20. Changmin wants to marry someone who is girly and who will attach herself easily because he is shy and quiet.
21. Yunho`s message to his future son is "I love you".
22. Junsu thinks that dating and marriage are the same thing because he sees the girl he`s dating as his future wife. He has to like the girl that much (enough to see her as a hopefully Mrs. Kim Junsu) in order for him to date her - he doesn`t want to date just anyone. He`ll date her to a point where he wants to marry her. (Changmin agrees with him.)
23. Junsu likes to use his hand as a pillow.
24. Jaejoong made Changmin show off his body in their Hiyaya single.
25. Yunho sleeps diagonally on his bed.
26. Jaejoong was laughed at because of his puberty stage--his voice would crack and his friends would laugh at him each time he sang.
27. Yunho got rejected by a friend that he came to like. He asked her out and lit 100 candles. She told him she only wanted to be friends.
28. Junsu was suppose to debut earlier, but due to puberty...he lost his voice. He would always go and scream hoping his voice would come back.
29 Before debut, Max would make up excuses as to why he missed class. Each time it was always a relative's funeral and when he couldn't make that up he'd say something else. No one was curious because Max has a wide range of relatives.

30. Micky likes to sleep listening to music on his walkman. He tends to drop it, so at nighttime Junsu might get hit with a walkman or book or something. (That was when they had bunkbeds...)

holidays

2007-09-05T22:18:00.000+08:00

HOLIDAYS ARE SUCH A BORE.

and my hols are filled with chem marathon.

for my own good tho.

tonight is the only night i got to use the computer, and it is such a relieve.

i mean, imagine nt getting to see or watch or hear those korean hotstuffs faces or voices.

i can die.

maybe not you, but i can.

tsk.

CAN O LEVELS START ANY FASTER SO THAT I CAN GET DONE WITH IT?!

ok no, not possible. i'll freak out if o levels are any nearer.

2007-08-29T23:32:00.000+08:00

seriously after watching the bokgo dance, i feel like dancing.

bahahha sjh and khd were superdupermegaultra funny.

aigoooo, hajimaaa.

maybe we should do it every saturday to heat up the night.

shall we? *smiles smugly*

P.S:don't worry, you can make it.aja aja fighting! :D

-

2007-08-28T21:57:00.000+08:00

heeeeehuuuuuheeeehuuuuuu. my fav. word of the week: kanasai.
bb^.^

When you're gone.

2007-08-19T23:43:00.000+08:00

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you
I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me.
-when you're gone, avril lavigne

+.+

2007-08-13T19:46:00.000+08:00

im drained.
im thirsty.
im lethargic.
my brain is dead.
the atmosphere when collecting the mt results were:
heart throbbing
nerve wrecking
palm sweating
blood draining
and whatever shitty phrases you can think of.
& on this day, the very same day, i sat for my english oral.
& i think i screwed it up.
goddddaaammmmnnnn iiiitttttttt.
gggggooooooddddddaaaaaaammmmmmnnnnnnnn iiiiiiiiiiitttttt llllllaaaaahhhhhh!!!
wah lao! eng is a cannot fail lah! tsk.
!@#$%^&*()_+
wtv. there's still like 5 papers to concentrate on.
AJA AJA!!
& there's just toooo many korean boys/guys to go gaga over with,
at the wrong time.

PX PS: i knw this post is colourful.i just want it to be this way. cheer me up for a moment.

XING

2007-08-11T22:29:00.000+08:00

Seriously, does anyone have any idea whothe hell XING is?
ok, so i recently found out about this band. they're new.
there were 4 members at first. but two were added.
& they're not like, 20 eyars old or what.
(i only know 4 of the member's profile tho)
kevin: 15, 175 cm (junsu's height)
marumir: 16, 181 cm
Yume (!!) :18, 178 cm
Hye sung: 16, 177cm
yeah, i like yume tho ^.^
& their songs are not bad at all. its nice.
you should listen someday.
since they're new, im having a really hard time finding their songs.
gosh.

rot rot rot

2007-08-11T20:31:00.001+08:00

i've been rotting at home for 4 days already.
now im all bones..brrrggghhh.
(i wonder if i can find tt watch sungmin is wearing here in sg ^.^)
micky i love youuuuuu
sungmin i neeed youuuu
those lines are from a song, mind you.
okay i was bored. but after ikyn showed me this vid about big bang concert i was all duper excited.
even id idk them.
omggggggggggg.
im totally speechlessssss.

^.^

2007-08-08T17:51:00.001+08:00

im feeling happy/groggy/hyped up/lethargic/worn out/giggly/mellow/crazy all at the same time.
just like all the different expressions in the picture ^.^
aigooooo.
no school for 5 days. yay, not.
i wonder what size his waist is :D
it's so small, smaller than mine. bahhhh
"i dont like a guy whose waist is smaller than mine"-Candy (golden fishery)
hahahha
ok whatever lah.
the folk dancing was super boring except for the sec 3 nyaa dance lah.
& all the singing sessions we had together with all the sec 4's.
aigo. im gonna miss them like 53646743561.
zu was really touchy today.
& mr chua was berserk.
with all those faces, but still cute tho.
and syah going 9999999999999999999999 non stop -____-"
& sorry zu, because your boyfriend, loh kin wah calls me hot.
but i swear, he's not my scandal.
LMAO.

2007-08-04T13:24:00.001+08:00

im feeling very happy.in a peaceful manner ^.^
& i cant wait for monday.but idk why.
2 more months, & exams are over.
Aja aja!
i feel like going out and smile to everyone.
i know this sounds crazy.
maybe i am, for now.
sungmin is driving me crazy, totally.
with his oh-so-sweet smile and face.
sungminsungminsungminsungminsungmin,saranghae.
that little secret.

Once, twice.

2007-08-04T13:16:00.000+08:00

those secret glances we shared.
those unspoken words yet to be said.
it's happening.

bahahha

2007-07-29T00:39:00.001+08:00

BAHAHHAHA the mat lying game is sooo funny! aigo...*tears in eyes*
hahahahaa

T-T

2007-07-28T23:46:00.000+08:00

all this foreign thing. gaaahhhh.im gonna kill her someday.

(okay i admit killing her is too drastic. but, hell.she's one kind of a bitch)

T-T

^.^

2007-07-25T18:12:00.000+08:00

there's more actually.but im too lazy to upload.prolly next time because Im watching cyborg ^.^
Later~

baaahhhhh

2007-07-15T05:38:00.000+08:00

Aigoooooooo!!! it's 6 a.m and im still not sleeping. bloody coursework. so mafan. Aigooooo!!!
Things I want to do now:
1) Sleep
2)Sleep
3)Sleep
4)Sleep
5)Eat ( i have not have any food from 9.00 p.m!!)
6)Get done and over with this coursework lah !!
7)Finish my english essay, wah lao
8)Do revision, that is if I have the extra time.
Bloody hell my time table is so packed with unnecessary things to do give by the bloody school which really, i think, will not help for my O levels. Oh my god!! Im dying. Really I am. god gee oh my. i dont know what else to say. I want to be able to sleep peacefully like Inghwan lahh!!
Aigo! Aigo!

exhaustion

2007-07-15T04:31:00.000+08:00

I think I'm gonna die of exhaustion soon. okay that may be too drastic but really, i think im going to break down soon. it's 4.37 a.m now and im still in the midst of doing my coursework. my back is aching like hell. i dont know what better vocab to describe this exhaustion. im too tired. like really, really tired. i really cannot wait for monday to be over, yet, at the same time, im nervous. because its the date due of my coursework A and i should rejoice because courseork A really is a pain in the ass. no, its a pain to the whole body. just imagine, from having 2 days of rest, where you can sleep till noon to get back your sleep whcih has been taken away due to school days, has been reduced to one. & yet, you cannot sleep early because you have to do coursework or homework or revision. how wicked. tomorrow's family outing, (plus granny and cuzz and all) is to the market. weird? yes, it is weird. gonna have breakfast together, maybe? i dont know.but i dont think with my situation like this, and those round circles (panda eyes) i am able to make it. because i got coursework to finish. aigo. i really cannot stand it no more. but saturday's chem lesson was fun though. because the seniors were too lame. but they were funny because of their lameness.
bahhhhhh i'm gonna ask ray to teach me math instead of chem next sat. T-T im super duper mega ultra tired to the maximum la oi! suddenly im super pissed with the education system. but whatever.its not like i can change anything.
i didnt get to see the friendly person today, or rather, yesterday.i wonder where that person disappeared to since that person said that there were extra classes for that person yesterday. aigo. pretty upset due to certain stuff. T-T
im going to break down soon. i cannot take it any longer.
& i want to sing Maybe I Love You together with that person ah!
Bye.Coursework is calling me already.

Maybe I Love You

2007-07-13T23:14:00.000+08:00

How happy can I be?Thanks Ikyn (: & I'm addicted to this song just like how Yuri is addicted to it (: it's nice really, especially the chorus "maybe i love yooooouuu, maybe i need yooouuuu" & i go like that all morning in school.
How I wish tomorrow is Monday.Now I'm really looking forward to school like 235646544358645 times (:
Tomorrow is Saturday & I have chemistry lessons from 10.30 to 12. Thanks to Mrs Theo, the lesson was being pushed forward because the seniors cannot make it at 8 due to their school program. yes, & tomorrow i'll get to see that friendly person ^.^ which makes me feel even happier. sorry lah but there's no other words i can think of right now which is better than happy mainly because my mind is blocked by the earlier conversations. ^.^
"MAYBE I LOVE YOUUUUU, MAYBEEE I NEEDD YOOOUUUU"

*i'm being myself.so don't hate me for that.*

cookie jar

damn it.

love/lights

rays of hope

vanish

relief

sunset tomorrow, you gave me hope

hope ?

numb; stay

love until we bleed

content :D

drop

fri sat sun

old memories

over and done

bored

080808

last touch

back

distant

day

player

happy but empty

happy?

jaded

bye,

grant my last request

it's broken, shattered.

plop

<3

sadly, it wasn't you.

?

8.00

closer

hitch-ing

seek and destroy

phase

sick cycle corousel

<3's

upside down

life's wonderful

hokka

boy oh boy

dffg

boots

hot

floss

blue

NUMB

boredom

heyheyho

eco child's play.

quick update.

ego

Of course

That's Just

sick & tired

Lovelies

holidays

-

When you're gone.

+.+

XING

rot rot rot

^.^

Once, twice.

bahahha

T-T

^.^

baaahhhhh

exhaustion

Maybe I Love You

i'm being myself.so don't hate me for that.